If You Need A Hand In Times Of Trouble
by Smudge93
Summary: Dean discovers something disturbing from an old friend and has to try and bury his feelings when he discovers just what happened after Detroit. Spoilers 5.22 A take on the start of S6.
1. Chapter 1

Dean find out that Sam is back and both brothers will have to deal with the fallout from that, but when one needs the other, will he come through for him?

This is there at the back of my brain every time I sit down to write, maybe if I can get it out then I can finally get my other stuff finished before S6 starts and tries to mess with my muse again.

Short chapters again for this one, to start with anyway.

* * *

Dean leant back against the wall at the end of the bar and closed his eyes. He'd just finished helping Brian put out the small fire that he'd managed to start in the kitchen, Gregg had just dropped a tray of glasses on the floor to his left and he now had to be the one to go over and tell the group of bikers that were waiting on their food that there weren't anymore steaks, but hey they still had salad. _Yep_, he thought, _life's just peachy._

"Shutting your eyes won't make it go away boy, you of all people should know that."

Dean smiled before he opened his eyes, knowing that it would be Rufus he'd find leaning on the end of the bar watching him when he did.

"Sometimes you just need to step away from it all for a minute or two though," Dean offered as he reached out a hand and clapped the other man's shoulder. "You want a drink, it's on the house?"

"Better make it a beer, don't think you've got enough glasses left for a shot." He gestured in the direction of the guy in his knees behind the bar.

Dean smirked and turned his head to Gregg who was busy sweeping up the debris that he had created from the floor. "Gregg, get this man what he wants and then go see if you can round up some glasses from the tables…and try not to drop them this time."

"This your place?," Rufus enquired.

"Nope, it's just me that has to make sure that it keeps running."

"Need better staff," Rufus observed wryly.

"Just having an off night, shit happens." He pushed off the wall and went to walk by Rufus when the man's words stopped him.

"Always thought that it'd be your brother that quit, not the other way around. Seems I called you boys wrong." Rufus watched as Dean moved in beside him. "You liking your new life, knowing that your brother is still out there somewhere, fighting the good fight?"

Dean bristled. "I didn't quit. I'm here because this is what Sam wanted me to do. I promised my brother that I was done with hunting for good, so that's what I am. Done."

Rufus sipped the beer that had appeared in front of him, grimacing at the taste. "Beer always tastes like shit, 's why I only usually drink Johnnie," he muttered as he did. "Never figured that you'd be happy with him out there hunting on his own though. Guess you boys ain't as tight as I thought."

Dean tilted his head and studied the other man for a minute before speaking. "You do know that Sam's dead right?"

Rufus' eyes registered something like shock for just a brief glimpse and then he frowned. "That so? Must have been another hunter that I saw over in Hot Springs then, strange though, cause your brother is kinda hard to mistake, him being forty feet tall an' all. My bad."

"Couldn't have been Sam. Sam's dead." Dean's face was calm but Rufus could almost hear the wheels churning in the younger man's head.

"It was your brother, I don't have no doubts about that." Rufus drank the beer again and then pushed it away in disgust. "Seen him twice out that way now. Last time, two months ago, I wasn't sure at the time, but now…looking back I'm pretty sure that that was him as well."

Dean's face paled. "Two months ago?" He wiped at his face with his hand, all thoughts of the bar and the problems of the night forgotten. "You sure it was him?"

"Sure as I know who you are. It was him, like I said, he's kinda hard to miss."

Dean walked away from the hunter, pushed the door to the kitchen open and grabbed his jacket. "Brian?," he called to the man standing staring forlornly at the blackened stove before him.

"Look Dean, I'm really sorry man…," he started but Dean waved him off.

"I gotta go out, you're in charge." Dean tossed him the bar keys. "Can you lock up and get these back to Lisa tonight?" He was already moving out of the kitchen and away when his words registered with Brian.

"Wait! What?" He spoke to the empty air where Dean had been standing.

Rufus watched Dean as he crossed the bar and disappeared out into the night then he caught the eye of the man behind the bar. "Any chance I could get a decent drink in here son," he asked, the smile on his face finally reaching his eyes.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Thank you for all the reviews! It was either update them or this, guessed that you'd rather I did this first! Hugs, Mary xx**

Slightly longer chapter. Dean goes seeking answers but Bobby might not like the questions.

Angsty!Dean in this one!

Dean thought about phoning and then decided against it. Surprise he reckoned would be the best form of attack. If Sam was in South Dakota then Dean knew of at least one person who he might be staying with or might know where he was at least.

He tried to wrap his head around it as he steered his way clear of the town. Sam was back. His brother was upstairs, alive and breathing. Had been for a while by the sounds of it. Anger moulded with relief as he hit an empty, straight stretch of road and the Impala opened up with a roar as he floored her.

It was like slipping on his dad's old jacket as he settled into the soft leather of the car, spirit lifting slightly as he relaxed into the rhythm of the road beneath her wheels. It had been so long since he'd done this, four months since the last time he been out on the road. He stuck Metallica in the tape deck, cranked it all the way up and pointed the car in the direction of Bobby's.

Bobby raised his head as he heard the roar of the big engine and the sound of gravel spraying under the wheels of the car that came sliding to halt inside the yard.

He couldn't see the car, but then he really didn't need to. He didn't even need the one guess to know who it was pulling in. Sighing he shut the book and had almost made it to the door as it opened and an irate Dean Winchester strode into his kitchen. "Did you know? Is he here?"

Dean went to push past the old hunter but Bobby stopped him with a hand. "Good to see you again too Dean, wanna tell me what the hell's got up your ass?"

Dean turned his head to look at him, his eyes cold and a little glassy. "Did you know?," he almost hissed.

"Know what?" Bobby dropped his arm and turned to the table behind him, fetching up the half empty bottle that was sitting there and pouring out a glass. He turned and offered it to Dean, surprise colouring his face when the young man waved it away. "You on the wagon?" He took his first good look at Dean, the healthy glow on his skin, the lack of bags and dark circles under his eyes. It was just the haunted look in his eyes and the tension that rippled from him that spoiled the picture. "You look good kid."

Dean shrugged, deflated a little in front of him. "Not getting knocked around every day and getting more than two hours sleep a night'll do that for you. As for your other question, serving booze and drinking it at the same time? It don't mix, so I ain't been drinking, not since….," he paused. "I kinda lost it after Stull, Lisa straightened me out." A little smile drifted over his lips at her name.

Bobby didn't push, Dean's relationship with his girl wasn't any of his business, he was just glad that the kid had someone looking out for him.

Dean's voice broke into his thoughts. "So, anyway, Rufus came into the bar that I 'm working in, told me that he'd seen Sam."

Bobby decided that he was going to hunt his old friend down and give him an unpleasant death.

"Didn't believe him at first, but he was sure. Have you seen him, heard anything?" Dean looked round the room as if his brother was suddenly going to materialise in front of him.

"Sam's topside? Since when?" The elder hunter tipped the drink down his throat in one go and wiped his face with the back of his hand. His eyes shifted down as Dean looked at him and the younger man's brow creased in a frown.

"According to Rufus, at least two months." Dean's eyes flicked round the room one more time and then stopped back on Bobby's face, eyes finally falling to the glass in Bobby's hand that the older man was still staring intently down at.

"Where is he?," Dean asked softly.

Bobby looked up at that, opened his mouth to protest his innocence and then shut it again at the look on his young friend's face. He was rumbled. "I'm sorry kid, he asked me not to tell you…."

Dean stepped back like Bobby had slapped him, emotions kaleidoscoping across his features. "How long?," he asked.

The older hunter turned, put down the glass. "He got here the day after you left."

Dean made a noise that Bobby couldn't put a name to, a hurt little sound in the back of his throat. "He got back right away?" The hand was up, wiping across that expressive face. "Is he okay?"

"Has a few issues that he seems to be working through but if you're asking me if he's Sam, then yeah, seems to be. He's quiet though. Hasn't really said much about what happened."

Dean stepped back, eyed the door. Bobby waited.

_"Were either of you ever gonna tell me? Don't you think that I at least deserved to know?"_ There was a broken edge to Dean's voice, pain lancing the words.

"I tried to get him too…," Bobby started.

"…didn't try hard enough," Dean finished. "Where is he?"

"Hot Springs still. There's a nest of demons out that way, he's trying to hunt them down. I can give you directions if you're wanting to go talk to him?"

Dean gave a little snort, a cruel half-laugh. "No. Don't bother," he said, pursing his lips and shaking his head, eyes cast somewhere over Bobby's head.

"Dean…." Bobby moved towards him and the younger man turned, almost sprinted for the door. "….I know you're hurt, can imagine what you were thinking but…." He didn't get to finish.

Eyes blazing Dean turned back to him. "_Hurt_! You don't know jack shit about hurt! Do you know how hard it's been for me these last few months? What I've gone through knowing where he was, or where I thought he was? This rested look?" Dean pulled the little bottle from his pocket. "I don't drink because it don't mix well with these." He shook the bottle. "These are the only things that let me sleep at night, sleep at all actually. The only things that stop the god damned awful dreams. I work two jobs to keep myself busy, to stop myself thinking about it." Dean ran a hand through his hair, eyes wild and unfocused. "See, I didn't have to imagine what they were doing to my brother down there Bobby because I knew! I'd been there, I got the damn postcard!"

There were tears in his eyes that he wiped viciously away. "And all that time he was here, with you and neither one of you thought enough of me to let me know, put me out my misery!" Dean's whole body was shaking as he backed away again. "I wake up every damned day and think of a reason not to use these." He pulled the horseman's rings from his pocket. "Not to open the cage and throw myself in." He sobbed out the words and then screamed at Bobby. "EVERY DAMNED DAY!" The older hunter flinched as Dean spat the words at him.

"If it hadn't been for Lisa and the fact that I damn well promised him…I would have…and all that time he was here. I could have started this all up again and for nothing because he was already here!" Dean stuffed the bottle back in his pocket and pulled open the door. He half ran, half stumbled down the stairs, tears blinding him as he did.

"DEAN!," Bobby screamed from behind him. He didn't stop, just headed for the car. A hand stopped him as he reached for the door, Bobby desperately trying to pull him back. "Son, I'm sorry. I promised him I wouldn't say until he was ready to face you."

Dean shrugged free, hurt, tearful eyes meeting the older hunter's own. "God damn sons of bitches! Both of you! What did I ever do that was so bad that I deserved to be left thinking that my brother was rotting in Hell while I was trying to be Joe Normal like he asked me to?" He pushed Bobby away, let his head drop, chest heaving as he tried to get control back. "Does he hate me that much? Do you?"

It was said quietly but the words hit Bobby like daggers. "Son, I could never hate you. As for your brother? Sam doesn't, couldn't hate you." His own voice was low now, his tone soothing.

"Then I'd hate to see how he'd treat me if he did." With that Dean pulled open the car door and slid inside.

"Where are going?," Bobby asked worriedly.

"Home." With that he gunned the engine and pulled away.

Watching until the car fishtailed out the yard gates Bobby reached into his pocket and pulled his phone free. "You got a problem," he said as it was answered. "Dean knows." He paused as he listened. "Not well," he uttered and then he closed the phone without waiting for a reply and wearily trailed back into the house.

"Glad I'm an only friggin' child, " he muttered as he settled back down to his book and filled his glass again.

TBC

**Chapter End Notes:**

This story will get the boys together soon, next chapter or the next again, but it won't be plain sailing and it will touch on areas that some people love and others hate. Just so that you know. And where it seems to be going ain't where it's going to end up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Helloooo! *waves* Sorry I still haven't had time yet to reply to the wonderful reviews but I just wanted to keep this going, I know that you'll forgive me. I will get to them soon! Mary x

A little Dean and Lisa in this short chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

He'd had to go straight to the garage that he worked days in and then from there to the bar, only managing to catch two hours of restless sleep in the car, and no food, in between. Tired and irritable, the night at the bar was a test of Dean's nerve, the place heaving with the usual Friday night crowd. Try as he might, he couldn't get on top of his game. He caused a fight in the bar, managed to break more glasses than Gregg's present record and sliced his arm cleaning it up. He realised that it was maybe time to call it a night when his staff and the patrons where all avoiding making eye contact with him as he rounded up the empty glasses from the tables.

Dean finally gave up at nine o'clock, handed Brian the reins again and went home, knowing that he'd have at least an hour to get his head straight before Lisa got back. Friday was her late night at work, Ben would be with a friend. The house would be quiet and empty and at this moment that was what he needed. Pushing in the front door he placed his keys in the dish on the table in the hall. Taking the pill bottle from his pocket he dropped it on the coffee table on the way by. His jacket found the arm of the chair, his boots their usual corner. He entered the kitchen and opened the cupboard door to get a glass, eyes falling to the still sealed bottle of scotch that was sitting on the shelf below. Rolling his eyes he gripped the edge of the counter, worried his bottom lip and then reached for it.

* * *

Lisa opened the door to find him sitting in the dark, head resting back against the back of the couch. Her heart lurched at the sight of him. The worry that he'd taken off, despite his cryptic text to the contrary, easing as she watched him sleep. Still, she didn't like the strained look on his face nor the tight line of his mouth. Moving towards him she took in the glass and the half empty bottle on the table and was about to sigh when she spotted the empty pill bottle sitting next to it. In a moment she was over next to him. "Dean? Dean?" She shook him gently, relief and gratefulness filling her when he roused almost straight away.

His hand came up, wiped at the sleep in his eyes and then reached to cup her face. "Hey." The voice like his smile was sleep warmed and soft, at odds with the darkness that pooled deep in his eyes.

"Hey," she whispered softly to him. "Want to tell me what's going on?" She lifted the pill bottle and held it up. "Did you take all of these?," she asked, voice light not accusing.

He focused on the bottle and then back on her face. "No. I ditched them."

She gestured to the other bottle on the table. "We going down that road again?" The question was asked lightly again, not judging just a need to know.

Dean shook his head. "Nope." He pulled her down until she was kneeling beside him. "I just needed something to take the edge off you know? Just tonight, I promise. I'm sorry."

She relaxed at that. "Sssh, it's okay Dean. I've got you," she told him and she reached to kiss him.

His other hand completed the frame her face as read her intent. He pulled her down onto his lips, the touch tender at first and then turning demanding. She let him take what he wanted, sliding down onto him. Swallowing his soft moan she hooked her hands round his neck. The fingers of one hand gently carded through his hair until he eased back off, rested his forehead against hers.

She smiled. Whatever had spooked him, it wasn't her. Wasn't this. For that she was glad. She was happy to sit like this, the silence stretched but not uncomfortable, until he finally broke it. His words though brought back the chill of uncertainty. "Sam's back. My brother's alive."

Lisa stilled, watched him. "So that's good news," she offered then paused, confusion and a little fear in her stare. "Right?"

"Yeah, good news," he answered flatly and she frowned. Sam's loss and the knowledge of where he had gone had almost broken the man she'd thought of before that as unbreakable. It was the thing she knew he wanted and deep down she feared. His brother was back. His tone though was off, too flat for the bombshell he'd just dropped. The lack of relief or excitement as he told her worried her more than Sam's return ever would.

Lisa turned the pill bottle in her hand again fearing it was the reason for the lack of enthusiasm in him for the news he'd waited four months to hear. "Dean?" She ran her thumb across his cheek, pulling his head up slightly as she did. "Swear to me you didn't."

It took him a minute to realise what she was asking. " I didn't Lisa. I swear," he said softly. "I wouldn't, not now," he breathed as he kissed her again, something so sweet but sad about the way he did that it caused hot tears to prick her eyes.

She brushed his hair back with her hand, dropped her head again to kiss at his neck and trail a slow path up to his ear, lingering there. "So you don't need these anymore then? Do you think the dreams will stop now? Just like that?"

"No more dreams," he answered turning his head to kiss her again. The look on her face made him stop and cup her face once more in his hand, the gesture a loving and familiar one that she couldn't help but lean into. "What it is?," he asked.

She tensed in his embrace. "Is he….?," she fumbled for words to ask what she needed to know. "Are you….?"

His hands drifted down her side then up inside her shirt. Shivers wracked her as he swept them slowly, lovingly across the skin of her stomach and then up again. He rested them on her shoulders as he kissed her again and then he shifted on the couch. Lying down he pulled her with him. Strong arms wrapped her warm and tight inside them. "I ain't leaving," he breathed into her ear, teeth teasing at it as he did.

His voice though when he spoke again had a little edge of bitterness to its tone.

"This is my home now. You're my family."

TBC

**Chapter End Notes:**

Have I got you worried with the last line? :)

Sam and Dean up next! Mary xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

**Again, thank you all for the great reviews. Glad you are liking this story! It's got a little life all of its own!**

Okay, little Lisa and then Sam and Dean!

This didn't actually end up going the way I thought it would but I hope you like it anyway! :)

* * *

Dean spent the day keeping busy.

Lisa had been teased awake in the most delightful of ways. The sex had been slow and easy, Dean's touch loving and achingly intimate. It lasted until he'd worn them both out and Lisa was curled against him happy and sated. Rising, he'd made her breakfast before letting her drift off to sleep again and then he hit the street for his morning run. His muscles protested as his feet pounded the pavement as hard as Zeppelin pounded his ears and he pushed himself more than he normally would.

Two hours later he was washed and out under the car, Lisa avoiding him until it was time to go get Ben. She let him work through whatever he was feeling his way, knowing that he needed a little space after last night and the closeness of this morning.

The afternoon was spent ferrying Ben round, swimming then soccer. They were sitting off to the side of the soccer field, Lisa worrying a little as Dean slipped off into his own headspace again as they did.

"Hey, dime for them?" She nudged his arm and smiled as he turned towards her.

"Ain't worth that much. Sorry, I'm lousy company today." He reached an arm out and hugged her into his side. "I'll make it up to you tomorrow, we can go somewhere, anywhere you want."

Lisa dropped her hand to rest on his thigh, not looking up. "Wouldn't have to go far to be where I want to be. Kinda happy right here, lousy company or not."

That got a laugh. "Woman you are way too easily pleased."

"So," she broached the subject carefully, "What are you going to do about Sam?"

He tensed beside her and then slowly relaxed, shrugged and then sighed as he did. "Nothing. He's out, that's all that matters."

Lisa knew that there was shock on her face. Sam going to Hell had almost crushed Dean and yet here he was shrugging off the guy's return like it was no big deal. She put her thoughts into words. "Your not going to go see him? Thought you'd want to check that he was all right yourself, not leave him as sight unseen," she pushed gently even as she wondered why she was. Much as she wanted Dean to be happy, she really wanted that happy to be with her.

"Sam's a big boy and Bobby's got his back. He doesn't need me." She was glad that she couldn't see his face as he said the last part, his tone pained enough without the need of the visual back up. She thought he was probably glad she couldn't either.

Lisa let the conversation lapse after that except for the discussion of Ben's game and ideas for the next day, Dean answered a little distractedly and focused a little too intently on the game for her to relax completely. He was hurting and she didn't have a clue how to help or if he'd let her.

She did the only thing that she could, let her arms circle round him and show him that she was there for him. The gentle kiss to her neck signalled that he got the message.

Ben's game broke up late and dinner ended up rushed, Lisa insisting that Dean eat something before he headed for work causing him to be late getting there. Brian and Gregg had called in sick when he did and he spent the whole night either behind the bar or waiting tables as Jane and Tracey tried to keep up with the demand in the kitchen and clear tables. All thoughts of everything were pushed away as he just concentrated on making it through the night's work. Exhaustion was rolling over him in waves by the time he turned down the two women's offer of help clearing up, chased them off home and turned the lock in the door.

* * *

Dean walked outside, stopping to lock up the bar and then fishing his own keys out of his pocket as he turned. He only looked up as he started to walk to the Impala realising then that Sam was sitting against the wing on the passenger side.

His insides clenched at the sight but his face stayed poker straight as he walked by him and unlocked the driver's door. Only then did he acknowledge his brother, resting his hands on the roof of the car and staring over at him. "What do you want?," he asked, voice strained and clipped. Still he couldn't stop his eyes roaming over his brother to check for damages.

Sam frowned a little at the tone, dropped his hands and his eyes to his lap. "I'm sorry," he answered quietly.

"I didn't ask if you were sorry, I asked you what you wanted?," Dean offered back. Sam shifted on the car, turning so that he could look at his brother.

"What I _want,_" Sam said pointedly, "is to tell you I'm sorry."

"Fine. You've done that. Now get the hell off my car. I'm tired and I just want to go home." He reached for the door handle but Sam moving stopped him.

"Dean, please," Sam pleaded. "We need to talk." He moved round to the front of the car, unconsciously blocking Dean's escape.

"You missed your time to talk. Talk was four months ago. I don't want to listen to anything you have to say."

"I want to explain, let you know why I didn't come and tell you."

"Explain?" Dean fought to keep a lid on it. "Explain what? Why you thought it was okay to leave me thinking that you were in Hell, knowing what I know? Why I was left out of the loop while all the time you were up here hunting and with Bobby? Why you left me dreaming of what they were doing to you down there, letting it haunt me until it damn near drove me mad with grief?" The guilt in Sam's eyes as he looked up almost made him stop. Almost. "I'm all ears Sam, go on, explain away how the hell you could do that to me. Tell me what justifies that kind of cruelty in your eyes?"

Sam stood, stepped towards him and then hesitated. "I saw you with Lisa. That first night. Knew that you were going to at least try. I didn't want it to be me that stopped you."

Dean snorted, his face darkening as he spoke. "Seeing what you want to see again Sam? Of course I went to Lisa! I promised you didn't I? Maybe you should have stuck around Sammy, saw how easy it was for me to settle into normal knowing that I'd stood by and just watched as you jumped into the pit! Maybe you should have watched me get so drunk that I could barely function, watch me take my frustration out on Lisa's kind heart and good grace! You could have been the one holding my head as I puked my guts up in the toilet or the one that had to clean up when I puked all over myself and her because I was too wasted to help it! She was the one that talked me down from the ledge Sam….without her…." He tailed off, anger spent.

"That's why I sent you to her Dean. I know what it's like to be the one left behind on your own."

Dean's temper rose again. "So what? Was this a get back at me for leaving you on your own when I sold my soul for you?"

"NO!" Sam's face wore a horrified look. "How can you think that?"

"First thing I did when I got out was call you, did you know that? Your cell account was cancelled though so I had to go through Bobby to find you but it was the first thing that I did Sam! You were the last person that I thought of going down and the first getting out! I didn't leave you thinking that I was still down there for four freakin' months!" He breathed deeply, stepped back from the car, his hands falling to his knees as he fought to get a grip on his emotions. "Four months Sam," his voice was broken as he spoke. "I asked Bobby but maybe you can tell me, 'cos he couldn't. What did I do to deserve that, to be left hanging that way?"

Sam ducked his head but didn't answer.

"What is it Sammy, cat got your tongue? It's a simple question, don't I deserve a proper answer?"

Sam sighed, looked up, tears in his own eyes now. "I didn't want you hunting anymore. It was killing you. I wanted to let you have your shot at normal. Dean, I knew it would be hard for you, it was hard for me, but I knew that you'd get through it because you always do."

"Christ," Dean slammed his fist down on the car's hood. "You're just like him do you know that? Just like dad, always trying to make my decisions for me!"

Sam pleaded his innocence. "I wasn't! I swear. I was try to give you a choice."

"What choice? The only choice you gave me was to live thinking that my brother was rotting in Hell! Where was my choice in that?" Dean turned and slid down the side of the car, unable to keep himself upright any longer, the pain in his chest too intense.

Sam rounded the car and knelt beside him, hand hovering near but not touching. "I'm sorry Dean. I just wanted you to be safe!"

Dean's head rolled to look at him, pain etched in every line of his face. "Safe," he repeated, voice so low that Sam had to bend nearer. "I was almost ready to jump in the hole Sammy, use the rings and be damned with the rest of it. I promised you though that I wouldn't, it was the last thing that you asked of me and I couldn't break that." His tone changed, sarcasm leaking into it. "Lucky ain't it that unlike you, I keep my promises. I mean it was you going back on your word to me that caused all this shit in the first place."

Sam reeled back from the look and the words, Dean's words cutting into him more than his brother's knife could have. "What does that mean?"

"One word. Ruby." Dean spat out the name like it left a bad taste in his mouth.

"Oh God, we are not going there again Dean, I swear." Sam stood, started to back off. Dean bit his lip, went for the jugular, all the pain and anger leeching out into bitter, angry words.

"Oh look, Sam's running away again," he snarked. "You bailing on me again Sammy? Oh that's right, that's what you do ain't it? Bail on your family. What you been doing since you got back Sam that you were too busy to spare me five minutes to tell me that you were okay? You find another demon bitch to bang?"

Sam's anger crackled in thie air around him. "You know what Dean, to hell with you! I came here to apologise for not coming and telling you and I've done that." He was half way to his own car when Dean's voice stopped him.

"So what now, you leaving me behind again?"

"You don't want to come with me again," Sam offered back watching as Dean stood and approached him, still wary of the hurt and anger warring on his brother's face.

"I can't. I got a life here." Dean repeated the words that he said to his brother too many years ago now to count.

"And I don't," came Sam's same reply.

TBC

**Chapter End Notes:**

Okay then...more soon (ish). Mary xx


	5. Chapter 5

Little more angsty Dean with Lisa, just so that she's at least clued in to what is going on, and then we will start to move on from that, for now!

And, thank you all for the reviews. 49 for 4 chapters is like wow and has really help to cheer me up even as I do my damnest to depress the hell out of you all with my angsty!Dean. Seriously, thank you. I do cherish each and every one. (((you guys))))

Now that I've buttered you all up, question…..I have two ways to take this story. Route one isn't all sunshine and roses for the guys but Route two….well route two will make what Sam did seem like a walk in the park as far as being cruel to poor Dean goes. Evil muse is feeling really EVIL! I'm not sure that I really want to be as bad as to go there with this but, I'm handing it to you guys. If you review, just add a little 1 or 2 in front and we'll see where I take it from there. Cryptic much? lol

* * *

Lisa was almost on the verge of getting Ben up out his bed to go see where Dean was when she heard the front door open and close quietly and the sound of his footsteps on the stairs. With one quick look at the clock, telling her it was three in the morning, she shuffled under the covers and feint sleep.

She heard him move around quietly in the bathroom and then the bed dipped as he slid under the covers behind her, a soft press of lips to the back of her neck before his hand came to rest on her stomach and he gently moved in closer. There was a hitch in his breath as he settled down and she could feel the soft warmth of his tears on the skin of her shoulder. Not wanting to let him know that she was awake, she stole herself to keep her own breath steady and even and let him vent quietly behind her.

Lisa lay there until Dean's breathing finally evened out into that of sleep. Only then did she roll round, draping her arm across his chest and letting her fingers work their way over to rest on his hip. She looked up, took in his pale, tear stained face and sighed.

She didn't remember falling asleep, didn't know how long she had been under when she felt him start to stir beside her. Pulling her arm back she sat up, recognising the signs on his face, understanding what the beads of sweat that appeared there meant.

"So much for no more dreams," she muttered quietly as she pushed back from him and scrambled off the edge of the bed.

It was as if he sensed that she was no longer there as his movements became wilder and he started to jerk in his sleep.

"Dean!" Lisa moved round to his side of the bed, close but not too close. She had learned the hard way not to rouse him within hitting distance. She done it only once and her face had borne the mark for a week, his face the guilt for longer. That's how she'd got him to take the damned pills in the first place. "Dean!" Trying again to reach him she risked a step closer only to fall back abruptly as he screamed.

"NO!" He sat up, eyes opened and wild, unfocused on anything.

"Dean!," she called again, trying to keep the panic inside and out of her voice as he tried to free himself from the bed, legs tangling in the sheets. He went down hard, head connecting with the table as he did.

"Mom?" Ben's voice caused her to turn. "Is everything alright? I heard a shout." Her son was standing in the doorway, eyes wide as he watched Dean pin himself to the side of the bed. "What wrong with him?"

"Ben, Dean's having a nightmare, I just need to get him to wake up and it'll be fine. Can you go back to bed baby? I'll come in when I've got him settled." Behind her she could hear Dean mumbling about not leaving, could hear him starting to sob.

Ben stepped into the room not away and it broke Lisa's calm. Her need to get him out so that she could see to Dean overrode her concern at upsetting him further. "Ben! Just go to your room! Now!," she snapped.

He turned and fled and she was already going over the damage control she would need to do there as she turned back to Dean. Moving as close as she dared, she knelt on the floor in front of him. "It's okay, it's okay, I'm here," she whispered softly, surprised when the words seemed to register somewhere deep inside him and he turned to look at her. Still lost somewhere other than the room he reached for her and she let him pull her in, fingers gripping her vest top. "I'm here," he said repeating her words, his voice barely loud enough to register as he did. "I'm not going to leave you." His grip tightened. "I'm not going to leave you."

Lisa moved in further to his embrace, pulled his head down onto her shoulder. "It's okay Dean," she comforted. "It's going to be okay. I've got you."

The words again seemed to affect him as he tensed in her hands, making her brace herself for whatever he might be about to do. This dream, whatever it was, wasn't one that he'd had before, she was sure of that. It wasn't as bad yet somehow she felt that for him it was worse.

"Sam?" The sound of his voice so broken and unsure finally sprung the tears from her own eyes.

"No. It's Lisa Dean. It's Lisa." She started to rock him gently, wanting to soothe away the hurt that she could almost feel herself.

Finally he spoke again. "I told him I wouldn't leave him," he stated quietly against her skin, obviously awake but still vulnerable from the dream, the vestiges of it still clinging to him. "I told him I wouldn't leave." Dean was crying now too, really crying and she knew that holding him was all she could do to ease him through the pain. "I did though," he sobbed. "I just got up and got in the car and I left him there. Maybe I did deserve him to punished me for that."

"Punish you?" Lisa's skin started to crawl. "Dean, you're not making sense here. Why would Sam punish you? Didn't you do what he wanted you to? It was his decision Dean, remember? Not yours."

"I watched and did nothing as my brother threw himself in the pit and then I just left him down there. How could I have done that? What kind of brother does that make me?" Not sure he was actually talking to her she pushed off him to make eye contact. Brushing a hand over his hair and the bruise that was already darkening above his eye she wondered how they'd somehow managed to step back four months in the space that it had taken him to try to fight himself awake.

"You did it because that was what he wanted. You promised him Dean that you wouldn't go after him. That's why you left. It's why you're here. Why would Sam want to punish you for doing what he asked, for keeping your promise? It's doesn't make sense."

"Why didn't he tell me then? Even if he was angry with me, why didn't he let me know?"

Lisa was as lost in Dean's head as he was now. "Didn't tell you what Dean?"

"Sam got back right away. He's been topside all the time. Do you think that was my punishment for leaving him? He must hate me to have let me think that…all that time…and he wasn't down there."

She wanted to hunt Dean's brother down at that moment and throw him back in the pit that it now seemed he'd barely scorched his feet in. "Have you seen him?"

He nodded. "Tonight. At the bar. He was waiting outside."

Taking a breath she asked calmly. "And what did he say was his reason for not telling you? Did he say he was punishing you? Did he say that he hated you?" She prayed silently that his answer wasn't going to be yes. Relief flooded her as he shook his head. "Then what reason did he give you?"

"He said that he didn't want me to have to hunt anymore, that he wanted us to have a chance."

"And you don't believe that? Doesn't that sound more like your brother than him wanting to punish and hurt you?," she asked treading on ice that she had no idea the thickness of.

There was a soft nod again. "If he doesn't hate me, then why? Why would he do something like that?

Lisa wrapped her arms around him again at that. "Maybe he just didn't think it through all the way. Didn't think about how it would make you feel."

He gave a gentle little snort at that, relaxed against her. Became more Dean like. "You so don't know my brother. All the guy does is think."

Lisa laughed a little laugh at that. "You do though Dean. Tell me, do you think this is something that he'd have done? That he would have deliberately tried to hurt you like that?"

"No," he said but his tone made her frowned.

"What is it?"

"What….," he paused, not sure that he wanted to say the words out loud in case he made them true.

"What?," she pushed.

"What if he came back wrong somehow? What if that's why he kept away, because he was scared I'd know?"

Lisa's frown deepened and she pulled away a little to see his face again. "Your friend, Bobby, wouldn't he know if Sam wasn't right? "Dean nodded. "Yet he still went to him?" She winced at the pained look those words caused, moved on quickly. "Did he seem wrong to you when you saw him tonight?"

"No. He didn't."

"Well then, stop worrying about it." Lisa pulled herself up and then pulled him up onto the edge of the bed. Her arms circled his neck and she let him rest his face against her stomach. "You need to get some sleep to be able to look at this right." She sorted the covers and pulled them down. "In!," she ordered.

He smiled at that, weak but still she'd take what she could get. "Yes, ma'am." He lay down and she pulled the covers over him.

"I need to go see to Ben, and then I'll be right back okay?"

Dean groaned. "Shit did I wake him? I'm sorry. I should go."

"Don't even think about it." Her hand on his chest stopped him as he tried to sit back up. Waiting until she was sure that he wasn't going to move she walked into the bathroom and rummaged in the cabinet until she found what she was looking for. Knocking two tablets from the bottle out into her hand she got some water and walked back over to him. "Take these. I kept some in there just in case you ran out." He took them and then settled back down again. "Just try to get some sleep," she asked. "It's fine Dean . Ben's probably gone back to sleep by now, I just want to check."

She waited until he closed his eyes with a sigh and then headed off to check on Ben, stopping at the door when she realised that he had, in fact, fallen back to sleep. She tried not to think about what that said about the amount of times Dean had woken them both from their sleep when he'd first arrived. "Tomorrow," she uttered quietly to her sleeping son. Instead of going back into the bedroom she headed downstairs, turning on the light and fishing Dean's phone from his pocket.

Finding the number she wanted she noted it down and then grabbed the house phone. He would see it as meddling, she knew that. He would be mad at her. Still, she'd worked too damned hard over the last month or two to piece Dean back together. Lisa knew the signs now, knew that Dean was going to crack if she didn't do something and do it fast. He was as much her family now as he was Sam's, and she was damned if she'd stand to the side and watch as his brother waltzed back in and, meaning to or not, ripped him apart all over again.

Fingers dialled the number quickly before she could change her mind, hoping she wasn't going to just be throwing oil on the already growing fire.

* * *

Bobby peeled his head off of the table and fumbled blindly for his phone. "What?," he grunted into it, wiping sleep from his eyes and yawning as he did.

"Is this Bobby?"

The female voice and the use of his first name, coupled with the earliness of the hour, threw him for a second and then it hit him.

"Lisa?"

She laughed, low and sweet and he smiled as she spoke. "Were you expecting me to call or do I take it that you don't get many females calling you at five in the morning?"

"Honey, I don't get females calling me period. How's my boy? I take it he's why you're calling?"

"He's worrying me."

"He seen Sam yet?"

"Earlier tonight. He turned up outside the bar."

"And?"

"Whatever happened upset him. It upset him a lot." She paused. "I thought that he be pleased, that it would make things easier for him but he seems to think that because Sam didn't tell him he was back that he's done something wrong. That's Sam's punishing him for leaving him behind."

Bobby laughed dryly. "Yeah that sounds like the way Dean would twist it."

"Twist it?"

"From it being that his brother is a stubborn mule who never listens to good advice to everything somehow being Dean's fault. It's an older brother thing, so I'm told. Me, I just think it's a Dean Winchester thing."

Bobby looked up as his door opened and his night just looked to get a whole lot worse. He sincerely hoped that Lisa's boy looked better than his. Somehow though he doubted it as Sam slumped in the chair and dropped his head into his hands.

Lisa was still talking. "I was wondering if you had Sam's number? If you can contact him at all?"

"Oh honey," the older hunter smiled down the phone at her, making Sam's head come up at the endearment," I can do a whole lot better than that."

Bobby stood up and crossed the room to Sam. "Someone here wants to talk to you," he said as he held out the phone. "Can you make sure that you listen this time."

* * *

Little note -

If you think you recognise the words that Lisa and Dean speak when he's sitting on the bedroom floor, they are almost word for word the speech between the brothers in the graveyard before and after Sam gets control over Lucifer. Thought it was an easy way to let you know what he was dreaming about. :)


	6. Chapter 6

Hey people! So the majority wanted me to be nice (r) to the boys (spoilsports! lol) so here it is. That said. I ain't finished with them yet! Some Sam and Lisa to start and then the boys.

Thank you again for all the reviews. Still trying to work through them so, sorry if you haven't had a reply.

Enjoy.

* * *

"Ground rules."

Sam was sitting on the couch in Lisa's living room, watching as she paced in front of him.

"I'm doing this for Dean. It doesn't matter if he's wrong or right in the way he feels or thinks. I'm on his side. Nothing that you say or do will sway me otherwise. Understood?"

Sam nodded and tried not to smile at the small woman breathing fire in his direction.

"This is about Dean. If he comes in through that door and decides that he doesn't want to talk to you, that he wants you gone; then you're gone. No arguments."

He went to say something and she stopped him with a look. "Fine," he conceded.

"That said, I'm going to ask him to listen to what you've got to say. He needs to get this resolved, to get by what you did, because its killing him. You being gone almost killed him already. You not telling him you were back has nearly finished the job." She stared at him until he had to look away. "It took me weeks to get inside enough to get him to let me help him. You being back has unsettled him, damaged all the hard work we've put in to get him back on his feet. I want you to fix that. If you have to go down on your damn knees and grovel to him then that's what your going do."

"I can see why he likes you," Sam offered and was graced with a little smile.

"Oh I have other talents that your brother likes too," she said a little too suggestively causing Sam to blush. "I can cook," she informed him causing him to laugh and making her warm to him a little. "Amongst other things."

Sam gave a short snort. "Then I can _really_ see why he likes you. I always wondered you know, that out of all the girls my brother's been with, why you? I think I get it now. You're honest. He likes that." He picked up the bottle of beer that she'd offered him, played with the label on it. "Why did you remember Dean?"

"I had a type. Leather jackets, a little rough and a lot ready," she chuckled.

Sam smiled. "That sounds like Dean."

"It was, but when I got him home he was different from the others."

"Different? How?"

"Don't get me wrong, Dean was there for the main event and your brother is trouble with a capital T. That was the attraction. Some of the things he wanted us to try…," she tailed off, gave a grin at the memory. Sam choked on the beer he been drinking and she held up her hand in apology. "Sorry, got caught up in the moment. Where was I? Oh yeah. You ever had a one night stand Sam?"

He nodded.

"Then you know it's all about the initial attraction, the oh my god I have to get this person into my bed thing?"

He coughed and nodded again.

"There was that with Dean, hell I slept with him within an hour of meeting him and I wasn't even drunk! He never made me feel that I was an easy lay though, the way the others did. There was no dirty talk, no talk at all at first and he made sure that I wanted to do the things we did before we did them. He was just so laid back, letting me take the reins. It was nice and he really didn't look the type to be nice. I felt safe when he was there. I can't explain it. It wasn't just the sex, it was him. He made me feel that there was nothing he rather do than spend his time with me, like I was his whole world yet he still let me know that come Monday, he'd be gone. That word you used for me, honest? That was Dean."

Sam felt something clench inside him as he looked at the expression on her face, heard the emotion in her voice as she spoke of his brother. "I thought about him a lot, especially when I found out I was pregnant with Ben. I hoped that it was him because he's such a good person under that hard ass exterior. He was kind and funny and so hot! I so wanted Ben to have those genes!" She giggled at his expression. "What? Kid could do a lot worse than be related to your brother! Ben's real dad?" She shivered. "Well let's say I was kind of gutted when it turned out it wasn't Dean. I don't believe in love at first sight Sam but your brother was the closest that I ever came to it. It's why I remembered him when he showed up at my door all those years later. Then he saved Ben and I can never repay him for that. Not ever."

Lisa paused, smile slipping as she crossed her arms over her chest and dropped in the seat opposite him. "If Dean wants to leave with you, wants to go back to hunting then I won't be happy." Sam went to speak but she stopped him, putting her hand on his. "I love your brother,." Sam's eyes widened at that one. "I do. He's hard work, don't get me wrong but once you get to see what's on the inside, he's worth it." Leaning forward she moved her hands to clasp his. "That however doesn't mean that I'd stop him leaving if that's what he really wants or needs to do. I knew that at some point you'd be back or he have to go see if he could save you. So, I've made my peace with knowing that one day Dean might not be able to stay here. That normal might get to be too much for him to cope with."

"He said that he had a life here now, that he couldn't go with me."

"He told me he wasn't leaving and if that's what Dean really wants then I expect you to let him stay, but he needs for you to be okay with that. Needs you not to cut him out of your life again the way you just did, the way you did before." Sam wondered just how much Dean had told her, her next words were his answer. "You can't ditch him again Sam. I don't think that he could take that. I need you to promise me."

He leant forward to her and squeezed her hands; looked her straight in the eye. "I promise."

* * *

Lisa cornered Dean the second he was through the door, pulling him into the kitchen and giving him a look that he just knew meant he wasn't going to get to collapse in front of the TV like he'd planned. "What have you done?"

She bit her lip. "Please don't be mad, he's just here to talk to you. To see if you can both just talk this out and get to whatever it is that's stopping you being happy your brother is back. I told him that if you want him to go then he has to go." Turning she lifted her bag off the counter. "I asked Julie was it alright if I came round but if you need me here I can stay."

"It's okay. I'm not mad." He paused. "Maybe a little. Just go. It'll be fine."

"You call me if you need me." It wasn't a question. "I'll be back by ten."

He smiled at that then kissed her. "Go."

* * *

Dean stopped in the doorway of the living room and looked across at his brother perched uncomfortably on the edge of the couch. Flight or fight. He recognised the stance.

"Not here, in the car." Dean just turned and headed for the door giving Sam the opinion of following him or getting left.

Sam looked to Lisa who was still standing in the hall and she walked to him, pulled him down to her height. "Remember what I said. You screw him up any further than he already is and I'll make you wish that you'd been left in Hell." With that she pushed past an amused Dean who was stilling standing on the porch and left.

"How long have you been here?," he asked Sam as he let his brother go by him too and then locked the door.

"All afternoon."

Dean bite his lip, tried not to laugh at the face Sam made. "Ouch," was his only comment.

They stopped by the car, Dean leaning on the roof and staring over it at his brother. "Before we do this, there's no chance of you going all fallen angel on my ass again, is there?"

Taken back a little by the question Sam shook his head. "No. Wherever Lucifer is, it's not here." He touched his chest.

"Good enough for me." Going to climb in the car Dean realised that Sam hadn't moved. "What?"

"You not going to check?"

"Nope. Just get in, before I change my mind."

They drove in silence for a while until Dean pulled into a carpark for what looked like a large lake. He drove down to the end and pulled in, turning the car to face out over the water. "Get out." He didn't wait for Sam to comply, just swung his door opened and headed for the trunk.

Sam walked round to join him, mouth dropping open as he caught a look inside. "It's empty!," he exclaimed. "What did you do with all the stuff?"

"Stored it. Apart from my hand gun and the Colt, Lisa didn't want any of it near her or in her house."

Sam took the offered beer and trailed Dean back round to the hood, waiting until his brother had sat up on it before daring to join him. "I noticed that in the house. No salt or sigils. Do you think that's wise?"

"Lisa's house, Lisa's rules. Like I said she didn't want any of it inside. Not like I didn't bring enough baggage in with me as it was."

Sam shot him a look and then took a pull of the beer. He didn't say anything about the fact that Dean's drink was a bottle of water. "So, how do you want to do this?"

"I ask. You answer. How long were you down? Hell time." Dean didn't look at him, just kept his eyes trained on the lake.

"A few months, a year. I don't know. It was all a bit of a blur time wise. Must have be two or three days our time."

Dean wiped at his lip with his hand, forced down his own memories. He tried not to think of what they must have done to his brother. "Not pretty is it?"

"No. No, it's not." Sam wanted to say he was sorry about the things he had said to Dean about whining, about being weak but he didn't think his brother was in the mood to listen.

"How did you ditch him? How did you get out?," Dean asked.

"I'm not really sure. I think they came for Michael. The angels? They took him back to Heaven. I ended up out as well somehow."

"Adam?" Dean's voice broke a little over the single word.

"I don't know what they did with him. I didn't see him or Michael the whole I was down there, only Lucifer."

"So Michael got a get out of jail free pass eh?" Dean let a little smirk work it's way onto his face. "Cas is gonna be pissed about that. Dude had just shined his badge and everything. So what happened to you after you got out?"

"I came to on Lisa's street, watching you guys eat. I don't know how I got there, one minute they were….well you know what it's like and then I was out."

"And that was the night that I got here too?"

"I didn't know that at the time, checked the paper for the date and Bobby confirmed when you'd left his. It tied in."

Dean sat up, rolled the plastic bottle in his hand. He turned to stare at Sam and his younger brother had to drop his eyes from the weight of it. "If I hadn't found out were you ever going to come tell me?"

"Yes." Sam looked back up. "I don't know when I would have, but I would have."

"Well that's comforting." Dean rested his back along the glass of the windshield and closed his eyes again. "You really hurt me. You know that? Letting me think you were still down there, it was cruel Sam. Really cruel. I didn't deserve that."

Sam swallowed round the lump in his throat. "I know, I really am sorry."

Dean sat quiet and then took a drink of his water. "Your turn."

"What?"

"You don't have questions?"

Sam shrugged. "How bad did it get?"

"Bad. I went back to the graveyard four times. Friggin' rings were burning a damn hole in my pocket. Even managed to get as far as putting them down on the grass but I couldn't do it though. That said, I couldn't put them in the store either." He dipped his hand into his pocket. "Still got them."

"Jesus Dean have you lost your damn mind, keeping them…it's like walking around with a target on you!"

"I couldn't get rid of them you understand that right? Now it's different, but these were the only sure thing I had that could get you back. I wasn't going to just lock them up somewhere and hope nobody found them!"

Sam huffed. "And what would you have done if they had found you instead?"

"Truth?" Dean rolled his head round to look at his brother. "I didn't care." Turning the rings he sighed. "Besides without the incantation these are worthless and as far I as know there are only three people, if that's the right word, that know it. You, me and Death: maybe four if you count Lucifer."

Sam slid off the car and turned to face Dean. "So what now? Where do we go from here?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I miss being out on the road but I don't miss hunting. Not at all." He huffed out a breath. "Lisa's put up with such a lot from me, she doesn't deserve me to just walk away now."

"Do you want to?," Sam asked gently.

Dean slid off the car, walked to the water's edge. "I don't think that I do."

"Lisa loves you."

"I know. She told me." The older Winchester dragged his foot through the loose soil at his feet.

Sam had to ask. "Do you love her?"

"I don't know. I think….maybe. I just feel so damn numb from everything that's happened. I don't know what I think anymore. You got somewhere to stay tonight?" Dean had obviously had enough sharing for the minute.

"No," Sam answered of the very unsubtle subject change.

"We've got a spare room," his brother offered as casually as he could. "You can crash the night with us. Meet Ben properly."

Sam must have hesitated too long.

"Don't you want to?" Dean was still staring out over the lake but the edge in his voice was clear.

"No, no. I'd like that."

Finally his brother turned to look at him. "You ever played Halo?"

"The video game?" Dean nodded and Sam shook his head. "Can't say that I have."

At last the smile that graced his brother's face reached his eyes. "Then Ben and I are so gonna kick your ass. Come on, we can pick him up and then you can come home with us."

Go home with his brother? Yeah Sam thought as he slid into the seat of car; even if it was only for a little while, he liked the sound of that.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Hellooo!

Another little family/comfort and for me, almost schmaltzy chapter and then we get to the part where you all hate me. *chortles*

I'll be good, I promise. I think.

Thank you again for all the reviews, sorry again if you haven't had a reply yet. I'm getting there, honest! Mary xx

* * *

Lisa pulled up onto the street and killed the engine. She decided against driving round and waking the neighbours by trying to move Dean's car on the driveway to get her own in behind it. Gathering her handbag she got out and locked the door, stopping as she took in the sight through her living room window. Sam and Ben were locked in a battle in one of the latter's video games, shoulders clashing as they fought to win. Further along the couch Dean was asleep, head turned towards her and lying at an awkward angle over the back of the seat. She shook her head and went inside.

"Hey. So whose winning?," she asked as she walked over and stood behind them.

"I am," Ben replied not lifting his eyes from the game as he spoke.

"Well, finish that and it's time for bed. Do you want some coffee?," she offered Sam as she slipped her coat off and dropped it over the arm of the couch.

"Please."

"Woo Hoo!," Ben hollered as he won while his mother had distracted Sam.

"I demand a rematch. Mom intervention isn't in the rules," Sam joked.

Lisa leant over the sleeping form of Dean and brushed a hand softly through his hair. "How long has he been sleeping?"

"Dean's a lightweight mom, he crashed about an hour ago," Ben informed her.

Lisa playfully smacked the back of her son's head. "Dean works two jobs and spends most of his free time ferrying you about. He's entitled to be tired!" She looked over at Sam, caught him watching her. "Everything okay?," she asked with meaning behind the words.

"Seems you're making up the guest bed for me for tonight, since sleeping beauty there doesn't look like he'll be doing it any time soon."

"Oh no. I don't think so!," she said, voice more light-hearted than she felt. She leant forward. "Dean?"

"What happened to letting him sleep, entitled to it I think you said, " Ben offered cheekily.

"His guest, he gets to make up the bed. That and the couch isn't the place to sleep."

Sam reached over Ben and slapped his brother's knee hard jerking Dean awake instantly. His hand automatically came out to catch Dean's as it rose expecting the move. Stilling his brother's hand Sam kept his fingers wrapped on Dean's wrist until he could come round completely. "Hey man, it's just me."

Lisa watched, a smile escaping as Dean relaxed at the voice, moving his hand up to wipe at his face. He took a second or two to get his bearings and then looked over at his brother. "Shit sorry man. Guess I was more tired than I thought." He dropped his eyes to Ben. "You win?"

Ben gave him a 'please' look. "He plays worse than you do. Must be a family thing," he grinned at the older man.

Checking his watch Dean raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be in bed instead of dissing me and my little brother?," he asked pointedly.

"I wasn't the one that fell asleep," Ben came back quickly.

Sam grinned until he saw the look on Dean's face, then it was an effort not to laugh. He'd been on the receiving end of that look more than he would care to count. Still it got Ben moving. "I'm going!" He stood, took Sam's controller and killed the power on the console. He stopped next to Sam and shot Dean a little look, mischievousness flashing in his eyes. "Nice to meet you Sam. Always good to have someone else to beat, kicking an old man's ass gets boring after a while."

Lisa stopped in the kitchen door. "Benjamin Braedon! Bed! Now!"

Dean smirked. "Oh, oh dude, you just got double named. That so isn't good."

"_Dean Winchester_, don't you have a bed to make up while I make coffee?"

Ben whispered something to Dean and then jumped back laughing as Dean tried to grab him. "Under the thumb am I? Let's see how well you can fight in the real world."

Ben ran. Dean pushed himself from the seat and took after him. Sam and Lisa watched as they tore up the stairs and the sound of a thump and then laughter drifted back down to them. Ben's cries for help went unanswered as his mother rolled her eyes and walked back into the kitchen gesturing Sam to follow.

He perched on one of the kitchen stools as he watched her busy herself with making the coffee. "So did you guys patch things up?"

"Honestly? I don't know. Dean's maybe not ready to forget yet but I think I'm partly forgiven, hence the invite to stay."

"What are you going to do now? Sugar?"

He shrugged and nodded. "Go back to Bobby's for a while. I've been hunting some demons outside of Hot Springs. I need to finish that before I can do anything."

She handed him the cup and saw his eyes drift to the window. "What?"

"Dean says that there's no protection on the house. With the kind of things that might be after me or him, I don't think that's wise."

"Oh no. Your brother argued that exact same point with me. He lost. Dean needed his break with hunting to be complete Sam, the car in driveway not withstanding. Having him running around laying and renewing salt lines and sigils would just be a reminder of what he'd lost. Well, what he thought he'd lost." She said it gently but Sam still cringed inside. "Then there's the whole, how do I explain the crazy man marking up my walls with spray paint."

"It's a big risk…"

Lisa cut him off. "My cousin died in a house fire, my best friend was knocked down and killed. Life is full of risks that you can't always avoid Sam. You and Dean should know that more than anyone. You can't hide behind your walls forever. Sometimes you have to just step out into the open and try to dodge the bullets that come your way."

She lifted the other cup off the counter and held it out, Sam shifting to see as his brother sat down next to him. "You won't change her mind on this one Sam. I told you, her house, her rules." He winked at Lisa as he said it, something unspoken passing between then that Sam wasn't party to. "We've got the Colt, if anything comes for us, it'll have to be enough."

They sat there and chatted for a bit after that, Lisa noticing that it was her and Sam that were talking most. Dean was simply adding to their conversation when he wanted to or to answer them. The atmosphere was relaxed enough but there was still tension between Dean and Sam and she knew that Sam was feeling it too.

With one last look at Dean she stood and rinsed her cup in the sink. "Well, I'm going to head upstairs, make sure Ben's sleeping."

There was another little silent exchange which this time Sam got the gist of. Lisa was making sure that Dean was alright with her going. Obviously getting the answer she wanted she walked over and kissed him, a slow tender kiss that had Sam looking away, feeling that he was intruding somehow. She finally broke it and then walked to Sam, drawing him into a warm hug, holding him until Dean coughed.

Lisa laughed at that and stepped back. "Night, I'll see you boys in the morning."

Dean gestured to the living room as they watched her go. "Come on, let's get a soft seat." He moved through and dropped himself onto the couch, switching the TV back on and settling down, patting the seat beside him when Sam hesitated. "There's usually a Hammer double on, want to?"

Sam smiled at that, feeling the tension inside him ease a little as he settled in next to his brother.

* * *

Lisa listened upstairs for a couple of minutes, taking in the soft voices and sounds of the TV then she turned away and left them to it.

* * *

Dean wasn't sure what woke him, the room still dark as he jerked awake. Lisa was lying curled into a ball next to him still sound asleep. He eased himself from the bed and frowned at the time on the bedside clock. Sleep had been his for less than two hours. It had been late when he and Sam had finally made their way upstairs and he hadn't wanted to take one of the pills, knowing that it was have made him still feel drowsy in the morning.

Resigning himself to the fact that he wasn't going to be falling back asleep anytime soon he decided to head downstairs so as not to wake Lisa.

Passing the guest room door he paused, listening to the soft noises that were drifting from it, wondering if somehow this was why he was awake.

Calling his brother's name softly he pushed opened the door and stepped inside. Sam was on his back, covers kicked to the floor. He was moaning, mumbling something that Dean couldn't quite hear from where he was. Moving closer he watched as his brother tossed and turned, sweat beading his forehead, eyes jumping behind closed lids.

"Damn it Sammy," he uttered as he moved closer, claiming a seat on the edge of the bed and bringing his hands down to still his brother's movements.

"Don't, please." Sam started to fight him and Dean relaxed his grip a little, let him move away. He might not know exactly what Sam was dreaming about but he thought he had a good idea at least.

"Sam?" He shook his brother gently. "Come on man, it's just a dream. Wake up. Sammy, come on." His brother sat up so quickly that Dean nearly didn't have time to get out of the way. He pulled his head to the side at the last minute only just avoiding getting head butted. Slipping his arm over Sam's shoulder he cradled the back of the younger man's head and pulled him to him as he did. "It's okay, I got you. Just take a minute."

Sam rested against him, head on Dean's shoulder and one arm loosely flung round his brother's back. His chest was still heaving from the nightmare he'd been having but Dean's presence was calming him. He realised then just how much he'd missed the reassuring feeling of having his elder brother close by, Dean's quiet strength beside him. It was the reason though that Sam didn't think he could stay. His brother had enough problems of his own to cope with without taking on Sam's as well and Sam knew that he would because that was what Dean did. What he'd always done.

They sat there, unspeaking, until Sam calmed and then he freed himself from Dean's grip. "I should go. I'm sorry I woke you. I shouldn't have stayed," the younger man stated, the pain not quite hidden in his voice.

He started to move off the bed but Dean's hand catching round his wrist stopped him. "When are you going to stop running away from me Sam? Huh? As for the dreams? You can't run from what's inside you Sam, believe me I've tried."

Sam risked a glance at his brother's face. "How did you manage to cope with them Dean? They are so damn real." He tried to pull free but Dean's fingers tightened as he did. "I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't have come. Just let me go."

"Not this time. Did that before, I ain't doing it again," Dean said quietly as they sat there at arm's length. "You think I coped with my dreams Sam? I drunk myself into oblivion most nights, you were there, you saw it. I take tablets to get any decent sleep now. That's not coping Sam. It helps but it's not coping. Is this part of why you didn't come find me? Because of the dreams?"

Sam looked away. "That first night I was confused. I didn't know how I got out, how I found myself where I did. I worried that they'd let me go. That they had plans for me. Might use me to get to you. I looked in the window and I saw you sitting there in Lisa's house and you finally had someone looking after you and I couldn't cross that road and ruin that. You were safe." Sam wanted to tell Dean the rest, confide in his brother but he couldn't, not yet. The peace between them was too fragile still. He pushed his hair off his face. "It's really why I left. I want you to be safe Dean."

Dean tried to read his brother's features but Sam dipped his head, drawing a long, low sigh from his sibling. "What am I going to do with you eh?" He shook his head and grabbed Sam's face; made him look at him. "I get it alright? I do. I swear. I'm still mad as hell that you left me hanging like that, but I get it."

Tears ran down the younger brother's face and Dean let go, let him wipe them away.

"Stay here." Dean left the room quickly. He fetched a glass of water and one of the remaining pills from the bottle Lisa had saved. Walking back in he handed both to his brother. "Take this and get some sleep."

"No, I don't…"

Dean interrupted him. "Don't make me go and wake Lisa," he joked, a smile playing on his lips as he spoke.

"Fine." Sam chased the pill down with the water. He put the glass on the bedside table and lay back, a huffed laugh escaping as Dean fixed the covers for him.

"Get some sleep Sammy." Dean went to leave and Sam couldn't stop himself from calling his brother's name.

"What?" Dean moved back to the bedside.

Sam blushed and waved him away, rolled round to put his back to Dean. "Nothing. It's nothing," he muttered into the pillow.

The elder brother stood watching his younger sibling and then moved closer, pulling the covers up and sliding into the queen sized bed. Sam felt the touch of his brother's spine against his. "It's okay Sammy, just get some sleep."

He closed his eyes and felt the tears start to fall again at Dean's next words. "I've got your back."

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Hey! Here's the next one. Dean's got something to ask his brother and someone has some information for Dean that's going to change the way the story goes. Sorry for the little delay, couldn't get this to play nice, hope it makes sense.

Thank you all again for sticking with this and all the wonderful reviews. They do mean a lot to me at the moment because RL is such a pain in the backside! STILL trying to reply to them all, think I'm as far as the end of May? Only another hundred or so to go - not that that is a bad thing at all. Loving the love! Mary xx

* * *

Dean was sitting in the kitchen when Lisa came downstairs, coffee cup in hand and some papers spread out in front of him.

"Morning." She placed a kiss to his neck as she walked by him, moving over to the cupboard and snagging a cup from it. "Where's Sam?"

"Still sleeping."

"You keep him up late?"

"Nah, he just didn't sleep very well." She turned to catch him rubbing at the back of his neck. He stopped it when he realised that she was looking at him.

"Bad dreams?," Lisa asked slipping into the seat opposite him.

Dean nodded. "Yeah. Bad dreams."

"You okay?"

"Yeah." He leant across and kissed away her worried frown. "I didn't sleep very well either. No bad dreams though," he added with a little smile.

Lisa shifted in her seat, slipping her coffee and studying him. "What is it? You've got that look…."

Dean bit his lip, looked down at the paperwork in front of him and then took a deep breath. "I want to ask you something." He looked back up. "It's a big ask, huge in fact." Green eyes stared solemnly at her. "If it's no, I'll understand."

She reached her hand out and rested it on his one that was lying on the counter. "Yes."

He chuckled at that. "How can you say yes when you don't know the question yet?"

Lisa pretended to think and then patted him on the hand. "If you want Sam to, he can stay here. We'll work it out somehow but only if that's what he's wants too."

"What about him hunting?," Dean asked worrying at his lip as he spoke.

It was Lisa that sighed this time. "It's something that I'm not happy with but we can talk about it. There must be some middle ground somewhere, some way we can get it all to fit together. Don't know if you don't try right? Do you know if he wants to stay?"

"I don't know if he'll want to but I'd like him to." He paused. "There's something he's not telling me."

Lisa's eyes narrowed a little at that. "Good or bad not telling?"

"Not sure but if he's here I can maybe get him to talk to me."

"Getting a Winchester to talk to you and tell you what's wrong," she rested her hand against her face and tilted her head at him, "hmmm." Laughing she pulled him over for a kiss. "Good luck with that one."

* * *

Sam came down about half an hour later, fully dressed but with tiredness still clinging to the plains of his face. "Sorry, I didn't mean to lie so late," he apologised, pushing his hair back from his face as he did.

"It's only eight thirty, don't sweat it," Lisa replied with a shrug, standing as he walked round the island towards her. "You up for some breakfast? There's eggs, bacon, sausage…"

Sam's stomach grumbled in reply causing him to blush and Lisa to laugh.

"God, you really are brothers. I'll take that as a yes. Can you set the table while I get this started, cutlery and plates are over there. Thanks."

"Where's Dean?," Sam asked as he set about the task Lisa had given him.

"Ben had to go into school early, Dean's running him there, he won't be long. How are you feeling this morning?" She prodded gently. "Dean said that you didn't sleep very well last night?"

Sam raised an eyebrow at the fact they'd been talking about him but didn't say anything. "It was nothing. Just a dream. Haven't had one in a while, just caught me off guard is all."

Handing him a jug of juice she motioned for him to sit down. "You should talk to him. If anyone can help you get over what's happened it's your brother."

"Dean's dealing with enough himself."

"He's worried about you."

"Doesn't need to be. I'm alright. Honest."

There was a little strained silence which was broken by the sound of the front door being opened as Dean arrived back. Lisa smiled at him as he appeared in the kitchen doorway. "Did you smell the food?"

Dean grinned as he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms round her waist. "How's my timing?"

"Impeccable as always. I was just going to serve it up. Grab a seat."

They sat down to breakfast Lisa just listening to the two men discussing everything but what their plans were, skilfully avoiding the conversation that both really needed to have with small talk. Dean caught her looking at him. "What?"

"Didn't you have something that you wanted to ask Sam?"

He made a face at her.

She stare right back at him.

* * *

"So what was it that you wanted to ask me?" Sam was loading his duffle into the back of the car that Bobby had lent him watching as Dean gave the vehicle the once over.

"Did you say something to upset Bobby?," Dean asked as he opened the door and stuck him nose inside, recoiling from the smell that assaulted him.

Sam gave him a bemused look. "No. Why?"

"This was all that he could give you? I wouldn't give this car to my worst enemy to drive! It's a piece of shit!"

Sam laughed. "I just needed something that ran Dean. I didn't care what it looks like. Stop changing the subject and ask me what you want to ask me."

Dean tilted his head to the side and looked at his brother. "Is there something you want to tell me Sam? Something you think that I should know but you're scared of how I'll react?"

His brother flushed a little. "Like what?"

"I feel you're holding back on me here Sam. Is it something about what happened in the pit?...If it is, I won't judge you, cause you know I couldn't, not after what I did down there….. I might be able to help though if you'd let me." Dean's hopeful tone killed Sam a little.

"It's nothing to do with the pit Dean," he informed his brother quietly.

"So there is something then, I'm not just imagining it?," Dean pushed.

"It's nothing Dean. Don't worry about it okay?"

Dean leant back against the back door of the car. "Okay." He scuffed his boot along the sidewalk. "So, I spoke to Lisa."

His brother joined him against the car, moving in so that they were shoulder to shoulder. "And?"

"If you want to come back, stay here for a while, then she's okay with that. I don't know how it'll work but we can figure it out. If you want to that is." Dean rushed the last words not looking round at his brother.

Sam looked down at the keys in his hands, turning then as he thought out his reply.

"Well?"

"I'd like that. I really would but I don't think it'd work. I'd still want to hunt and Lisa was pretty clear that she doesn't want that."

Dean moved to look at him. "We could work round it or better still use this to make a completely break from hunting. Get us both out for good."

"You're really done with it aren't you?" Sam tried to keep the amazement out of his voice.

Dean ducked his head. "It got to be just a job Sam, and not a good one at that. I don't feel it anymore man. That joy at saving someone, the thrill of taking down a fugly? It's gone."

"I have to hunt Dean. I don't know what else to do. It too late for me to go back to college. I'm not trained for anything….what am I suppose to do if I don't hunt?"

His brother snorted. "Preaching to the choir here Sam yet I still managed to find something."

"I can't fix cars Dean. Me and mechanicals don't mix, you know that!"

"So? You could work with me in the bar. Share the load."

Sam pushed off the car. "I'll think about it. I swear. I need to go." He walked round his car and slid into the driver's seat. "I'll call you at the end of the week. We can talk then."

Dean scratched at his forehead with his thumbnail before bringing his hand down and wiping his face. "Fine. Okay," he said resignedly.

"Don't be mad."

"I'm not mad Sam. You don't want to stay, it's cool." Dean banged the roof of the car and then stepped back. "Be careful." With that he just turned away and walked back inside.

Sam sighed and rested his head on the wheel for a second, wishing that he could stay but not wanting to tell Dean why he didn't think it was a good idea. He put the car in drive and pulled away.

* * *

Lisa didn't ask and Dean didn't offer. She just watched as he gather his stuff and then kissed her goodbye.

"Are you working late tonight?," she asked as she saw him to the door.

"No, but I need to swing by the bar, pick up the books."

She put a hand on his arm. "He might come round to the idea Dean."

A pained look crossed his face. "Yeah, because Sam's always been the one that's had to compromise. I'll see you tonight."

She watched until he drove away and then walked over to the phone. "Hey Bobby," she greeted as the old hunter answered. "Think we've got some work still to do."

* * *

Dean opened up the bar and headed for the manager's office, intent on just snagging the files he needed and getting the hell out of dodge before someone found something for him to do or someone called in sick and he got stuck. He'd made it all the way across the carpark when the voice stopped him.

"So, I see that your brother stopped by to say hi after all," Rufus' less than dulcet tones offered from behind him. "Nice seeing you two boys back together again. Family should always have each other's backs and all that."

"You're beginning to feel like a stalker, you know that?" Dean sighed, rested the paperwork on the car and turned. "Is there something I can help you with Rufus or have you just run outta things to kill?"

"That's never gonna happen son, no matter how much you and I might wish it." He grinned at Dean. "So how was your brother? He seem okay to you?"

"What are you try to ask me here Rufus? I'm a big boy, just spit out the question and if I can, I'll answer it." Dean folded his arms and leant back on the car.

The old hunter's eyes narrowed. "You do any checks when your brother came calling?"

"Checks?," Dean asked obtusely, suddenly not feeling like answering, his skin crawl at the way Rufus asked him.

"Don't play coy with me boy. I can whip your ass any day of the week, twice on a Sunday. Checks. You know damn well what I mean. It's one of the reasons why I sent you after him, figured you would know if there was something," he searched for a word, "off, about your brother."

"Off? There was nothing off about Sam. Why?"

"You gonna answer my damn question? Did you check him?" Rufus brought his hands up to his hips.

"No. I didn't check him. I didn't need to. It was him."

"U-huh. So Sam gets his ass drag down to Hell with Lucifer inside and Michael on his tail and you're telling me they just let him walk outta there?"

"Who told you that?," Dean hissed at him. "And how did you find me?"

"I went to investigate the zombie thing at Sioux but you boys beat me to it. I kept an eye on you since then." His face took on a wicked smile. "Low jacked your damned car. Ain't nowhere you're going without her." He shook his head. "Really thought you might have noticed but then you did have other things on your mind." The smile faded. "I was there. At Stull. Saw your boy jump in the hole. So you think they just let him stroll on out of there? Is that what he told you, what you're telling me?"

"No that's not what I said. What I did say was my brother was just that. My brother."

"Was Sam able to do the demon killing thing before he went to Hell then?" Rufus's smile spread slowly at the shocked look on Dean's face. "I see he was. Now that's interesting. I'd heard rumours, never did believe them myself….until I saw it him do it with own eyes and your face just confirmed it that is."

"When did you see Sam use his….ability?" Dean chose the word carefully. "There something you'd like to share with the class?" He stepped forward and Rufus had to steal himself not to step back at the look on the other man's face.

"Sam's _ability_ is the reason I came here in the first place. Reason I wasn't sure that it was Sam that I'd seen all those months back. Friend of mine said he saw your _brother _lay out five demons with nothin' more than a twitch of his nose. 's why I went back looking for him. Needed to see it myself to be sure. Did too. Watched the boy walk into a house with ten demons in it and walk back out without a mark. When I checked, they were all dead. No knife marks. No bullet wounds. All clean as whistles."

Dean closed his eyes, his tongue coming out to lick at his lips. Then he opened his eyes again and held his arms out wide. "So what?," he spat out. "My brother can kill demons with a look,... how is that a bad thing?"

Rufus held up a hand. "Didn't say it was bad. Do you think it's bad Dean?"

"Don't do that. Do not put words into my mouth!" He started forward again and then stopped, not sure what he was thinking of doing to the hunter in front of him.

"Those words are in your eyes though Dean. I can see 'em," Rufus said, the words almost goading.

"You know what Rufus, go to Hell!" Dean turned and headed for the car.

"You're gonna need him and his little parlour trick. There's been a girl been asking round after you. Nasty black eyed bitch and her little bunch of merry men."

Dean stopped but didn't turn. "And?"

"She really doesn't seem to like you."

The younger man snorted a laugh, half turning as he did. "That doesn't really narrow it down any Rufus. She got a name?"

"A name? Now let's see." The hunter raised a hand and tapped the side of his face. "What did Austin say it was as he was bleeding out in my arms?"

Dean ears perked at that. "Austin? The soldier guy from River Pass? You took him hunting with you?"

"Not much difference between being a hunter and a soldier, war's a war, know what I'm saying. He was a good kid though, didn't deserve what that bitch did to him."

"So you had a name to give me?," Dean said, sure that he already knew who was on his tail.

"Told him she was gonna take your family from you the way you did hers. Figured that it was either Sam she was talking about or that sweet girl of yours and her boy. Maybe both. Figured you might like Sam where you could keep an eye on him or you'd need him to help keep your girl safe. Bitch has left quite a little slaughter trail in her wake. Thought I'd give you the heads up."

Dean walked back to him. "What you did was lead her right to me you idiot. Did you see the angel at Stull. The guy in the trench coat?"

"He was the one that healed you and Bobby."

"That's right. He made it so they couldn't find me. Hid me from them. How do you think I've avoided any trouble for four months? So they needed help to find me and you just gave them it." Dean scrubbed at his hair with his hand. "I don't even have salt on the damn windows Rufus, didn't need it until now!"

"Shit son, I was trying to help you not them." Rufus actually looked regretful.

"Then you should have just told me outright the first time instead of playing games with me like you always do. At least now I kinda get why Sam didn't come tell me right away. He knew that I'd be upset that he can still do his demon killing thing as you put it." Dean shook his head and stepped back. "They were probably watching Bobby's yard the whole time, just waiting for me to cave and go back hunting. Instead, _you _sent me back there to look for Sam."

"I can stay and help," Rufus offered but Dean just held up his hand.

"No, I think you've been enough help." The younger man started back towards his car.

"You not wanting that name boy?," the older man asked.

"Don't need it." Dean looked back as he got in and started to pull the door closed, gunning the engine as he did. "I already know what it is."

TBC

Note: Austin is the soldier that asked Dean were he served in 5.02 and that attacked Ellen at the end. River Pass was the 'possessed' town that they were in.


	9. Chapter 9

Hi

Sorry for the delay but I had so much trouble trying to get this to run with canon ideas that I almost gave up. Any mistakes and I'm claiming AU! On the plus side I have three chapters written so the posting should pick up again! They are all short but hopefully sweet with it!

Mary xx

* * *

Dean opened his phone, finding the number that his brother had left him with. He called it and put his eyes back on the road.

The call connected and Sam's voice sounded in his ear. "Hey. What's up?"

"Where are you?," Dean asked, tension bleeding into his voice.

"About an hour out from Bobby's. Why? What's up?" Sam was already checking the road for a place to turn even as his brother asked.

"I need you back here. Now."

Pulling onto the shoulder Sam checked again and swung the car back in the direction that he'd just come from. "I'm on my way." He put his foot to the floor.

Dean shut the phone and then opened it again. Called the next number on his list.

"Singer," Bobby's gruff voice barked into his ear.

"It's Dean. Listen Bobby, I think I've got trouble. Can you do something for me?"

"Just name it kid."

"I need you to trace a couple of cells for me."

"Give me the numbers."

Dean gave the information to the elder hunter that Bobby would need and drove while he waited for an answer.

"One's at Anderson Avenue in Cicero and the other's at, wait for it; Dean Street."

"Bitch has a sense of humour, I'll give her that," Dean snorted.

"Which bitch are we talking about here?," Bobby queried.

"Meg."

"Meg?" The elder hunter was already moving, knowing that he would get there too late to help but knowing that he needed to get there. "How the hell did she find you?"

"She was either watching your place or she followed Sam."

"Shit! Where is Sam? He with you or are you on your own there?"

"Don't worry. Sam had left but I called him. He's on his way back."

"How long 'til he gets to you?"

"He's been gone about six/seven hours so the same back maybe."

"Dean you wait for him. Do you hear me?"

"Can't. Lisa and Ben aren't answering their phones. She's got them Bobby. I know she has."

"The other cell the kid's?" Bobby was picking up his car keys as he spoke.

"Yeah. I don't suppose that you've got anyone here that could get him?"

"There's Rufus?," Bobby offered.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Shit. Yeah. I'll call him. Thanks Bobby."

Rufus answered on the second ring. "Yeah, what do you want?," he greeted roughly.

"Changed my mind. That help you offered. I need it."

* * *

The house was in darkness as Dean pulled up to it, pulling the car to a halt on the street so that he could see inside. He could see movement inside and that relaxed him a little, making him more sure that Lisa was with her phone and here at least. He sat in the vehicle until his phone rang.

"Kid's safe."

"Take him to the bar and wait for me there."

"You need help where you are?"

"Nope. I got this. Just watch Ben for me. Rufus? Thanks."

"Least I could do. You be careful now."

"Always. Later." He closed the phone, took a deep calming breath and pushed open the car door, circling to the trunk. Dean had made a detour and a pit stop on the way back from the bar, his need to get here overridden by his need to have something other than spit to throw at whatever might be waiting for him inside. Ruby's knife glinted in the streetlight as he pulled it out and walked down the path to the front door. He carried his weapon's duffle in his other hand.

Dropping the duffle outside he went in and almost fell over the body that was lying in the hallway. The shadows there had hid it from him until his boot caught its side and had him hopping into the wall to avoid standing on it. Whispering a silent 'please no' to himself he hunkered down and pulled back the black hair, letting out the breath he didn't know that he'd been holding when it wasn't Lisa. Dead girl but not his girl dead.

"Hey Dean-o." The voice brought him up and back against the wall instantly, head turning to seek the source, heart thumping when he realised whose voice it was the demon was speaking in. "Come on inside and join the party honey. We've been waiting on you."

He tucked the knife in his hand back into the waistband of his jeans, knowing that he couldn't use it. Reaching inside his jacket he grabbed the flask of holy water instead and loosened the top. Then he stepped into view.

The living room was in disarray. Furniture was over turned and the lamps that would normally be on to welcome him home lay smashed and broken on the floor.

She was sitting on the couch, legs tucked under her in a pose so familiar that he hesitated. Hope that he was wrong warred with the knowledge he was right. She called him Dean-o though and there was only one thing on this planet that called him that. The thing that was wearing Lisa. "Meg."

The smile on the face was all wrong. Lisa's pretty features were contorted by the evil that was riding inside her skin. "Hey baby. Long time no see. How have you been?"

"What do you want bitch?"

"You always speak to your woman like that?" She lifted a hand and slammed him into the wall, the flask falling from his hand as he hit it hard. "You know, that mean mouth of yours is really going to get you into trouble one of these days." Pushing herself off the couch she walked over and worked her hands round the back of his neck, forcing his head off the wall and down to face her. "Welcome home. I think dinner's going to be a little late. Something the cook ate I think." Meg brushed Lisa's hand up and through his hair and he fought not to lean into the touch. "She's so nice Dean that I feel kind of sick from it but she screams really, really well. Is that what you like about her too Dean?" She forced him into a kiss. "That she's a screamer?" A finger trailed down his cheek. "She begs nicely too. Cries nicely. Bet she does everything _nicely_." The laugh when it came was wrong too.

"Where's Ben?" Dean already knew that Ben was safe, he just couldn't afford to let Meg find out. Not asking would have tipped his hand but even still he swallowed hard as Meg's delight danced in Lisa's eyes because Lisa wouldn't know that her son wasn't in danger anymore and he had no way to tell her.

"Ah, I knew the mention of begging and crying would lead you to the little son or should that be substitute brother? He's fine for now, my boys took him some place," she paused and smiled that smile again, "_nice._"

Reaching down and behind him she pulled his gun and the knife from their resting places. "Oh look," she said, turning the knife in her hands. "Bobby's favourite toy." Throwing the gun onto the chair she took the knife and ran it up Lisa's arm, not slicing the skin but hard enough to leave a red welt on it. "I could gut your girl right here and make you watch. Give one good reason why I shouldn't?"

Dean smiled coldly. "You want the rings and I've got them."

Pretend shock crossed the features of the face in front of him. "What? No denials? No 'I have no idea what you're talking about'?"

The knife waved inches from his nose. He ignored it, grinned at her. "Let her go and you can have them."

"Really? Just like that?" She reached up, gripped his hair tightly and yanked his head down. "Do I look stupid….well maybe in the present get up…..I need the incantation too, right? You gonna just give me that?"

Dean grimaced. "No that, that you're gonna have to come and get."

"I intend to. It'll be my pleasure." She stepped back and shoved the knife up inside his t-shirt catching the neck on the ridges of the blade and yanking it down, splitting the material in one swift movement.

"If you wanted me naked you just had to ask," he smirked at her.

"We might get to that later, I only need this for the time being." She ran her hands slowly over his chest and then stepped back. He felt himself be pulled off the wall, still unable to move under his own steam. Meg rounded him and pulled his jacket off, searching the pockets and then throwing it on the couch. "Now I heard that you had the rings with you all the time. Where are you hiding them Dean?"

"First Lisa and then the rings. I'll give you them. No need not to. You can't use them without me." He grinned at her again and she scowled back, drew blood on Lisa's arm with the knife.

"You hurt her and I'll end you." His eyes were almost black when he looked at her.

"You can try but remember, you hurt me, you hurt her." Walking behind him again she pulled off his shirt and the t-shirt, running an appreciative hand over his skin, lips brushing the back of his neck. "Always did take care of yourself Dean. Little deadly sin creeping in there eh?"

"You talk too much, anyone ever tell you that? Do you want the rings or not?"

"Oh I want them, but there's something I want more than that." Her eyes flashed as she walked round him. "You. Hurting. Did you know your angel friend burned me with holy fire? That wasn't very _nice_ of him. I'd like to have returned the favour but since he's flapped off back to Heaven, it'll just have to take payment out of your ass." She walked into the kitchen and came back with one of the hard chairs which she placed behind him. "Sit a spell. Take some weight off Dean. You're going to need that chair by the time I'm finished." She pushed him back and he dropped down wincing as she dragged his hands hard behind him. "Stay there."

He sat there patiently waiting for her to come back, held in place by her power but not really caring how long she took about this. He'd banked on her wanting a little quality time albeit not with her wearing Lisa. Shooting a quick look at the clock on the wall he smiled. Over three hours had passed since he'd left the bar, and each one brought Sam closer.

Meg dumped his weapons duffle on the floor at his feet and waved the two pairs of handcuffs at him. "You brought toys! Does she know that you're into kinky shit Dean?" Not waiting for an answer she cuffed each wrist to the back of the chair individually. "Comfy?"

"Bite me."

"You know I will." Lips touched his ear and he jerked as she did just that.

"Sonuvabitch!" Anger flashed in his eyes and she smiled.

"Now. Rules. I'm going to carve you until you tell me what I want to know or die trying not to. If you scream, I'm going to cut your girl here. One slash for every cry. Sound fair?"

His eyes lit and he almost snarled the words at her. "Bring it."

Lisa's mouth curled up into such a cruel smile that he had to look away from.

Her hand pulled his head back round. "You look away and I'll hurt her too."

"Changing the rules already. I'm shocked," Dean sneered at her. "Let's see what you've got then."

"Funny," Meg leant in and kissed him again, "I was just going to say that to you."

She pushed his head back and stuck the knife into the flesh of his shoulder, dragging it down over the muscle. He tensed, bit into his lip to hold back the sound that wanted out, managing to keep it to a low moan. "Impressive. Lisa is so proud of you. Let's see how long that lasts."

TBC :)


	10. Chapter 10

Hi

Hope you like this one, I'm still worried that this story could still go horribly wrong. lol

Been fighting with where it is going after this, you know the wrote it, read it, liked it, read it again, changed it, hated it cycle that you get when writing. This story is doing that a lot. I know the destination but there are a few roads that I can take to get there!

A went a little light on the Dean whump too here! Chicken that I am, but I'll make up for it later! *smiles*

Thank you again for the reviews. I am still VERY behind in my replies so I'll say a collective thank you here again for all the interest and support in this story. More to come soon on Walls as well! Mary xx

* * *

Sam had taken less than six hours to do the return of the journey that had taken him seven on the way out. He'd ditched his car two hours in and stole something faster after all his calls to Dean went to voicemail.

His phone started ringing just as he turned off the highway and headed into the streets near Lisa's home.

"Dean?," he asked not looking at the caller ID as he swung a corner.

"It's Bobby. Who the hell have you been talking to on your phone and where are you?"

"I was on my way back, Dean called and asked me to turn round. I think something's up Bobby. He sounded,." he was going to say scared but that wasn't quite the word he was looking for, "stressed. I've been trying to call him for the last hour or so but he isn't answering."

"He called me about a couple of hours ago, asked me to trace some cell numbers. Rufus has got the boy." Bobby paused. "Dean thinks it's Meg and that she's got Lisa. If they're with their phones, your brother and Lisa are together. I'm tracing your cell too, you ain't far from them."

"Then I know where they are. Thanks Bobby." Dropping the phone on the seat beside him Sam sped as fast as he could through the suburban streets and almost whooped with joy when he turned onto Lisa's one and the Impala was outside the house. "Got you."

Sam stopped a few doors down so as not to tip the occupants of the house to his arrival. He checked his Glock out of habit and slunk low past the window onto the path. His hand gripped the door knob and he sighed as it turned under the pressure. Unlocked door. That couldn't be good. Sam did what his brother had almost done and tripped over the body that was lying behind the front door, gripping the doorframe to stop himself from going all the way down.

"Smooth there Sammy. Real smooth." He brought his head up to look. It was Lisa, except it wasn't. She was standing in the hallway, her white t-shirt splattered with blood that he knew from the pattern wasn't hers. "You looking for your brother?" The smile on her face made his skin crawl. "Dean and the missus have had a little domestic. Could say, he's a little cut up about it." She chuckled at her own joke. "He was asking for you, well maybe begging for you would be a better way of phrasing it." She stepped back. "Come on in and join the party."

He rounded the wall, keeping her in sight but searching the dark at the same time. There was a figure handcuffed to a chair in the middle of the floor, head down, liquid dripping from the bound hands onto the bare floor beneath. "Dean!" Sam hissed the word at the figure, breathing a little easier as his brother lifted his head slightly at the sound of his voice. Sam turned back to face Meg, putting himself between Dean and her. "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing that hasn't been done to him before. Ain't that right Dean? We were just passing the time 'til you got here Sam."

"Do it."

Sam turned at the quiet words from his brother, shock playing over his features. Dean hadn't lifted his head. He still hung there on the chair, the cuffs the only thing keeping him upright.

"Dean?" _He knows._ Sam moved nearer and Dean's head came up slowly, the effort to keep it that way showing in the blood stained cords of his neck and the pain in his eyes.

"Finish her." It was an order, a weakly voiced one but there was a quiet force behind it.

_He knows but not all of it._

"Yeah, come on Sam," Meg goaded from across the room. "Finish me. Dean-o here has been waiting for you to ride in and save the day. So come on." She held her arms wide. "Hit me with your best shot."

"I can't." He moved nearer to his sibling, watched the confusion surface on Dean's face.

Dean shot him a look. "Is it a blood thing? Do you need a hit to do it?"

Sam could see his brother already weighting up the solutions to that problem in his head and stopped him. "No," he confessed. "I don't need to do that anymore. Think it had something to do with all the blood I drank to let Lucifer in, I can just do it now on my own."

"Then why is she still breathing?" Dean asked with questioning eyes. "Can you get on with it?"

"Aren't you forgetting something Dean? How are you gonna find junior if you gank me? That's if Sam could gank me that is." She flicked Sam a wink. "Got some control issues, don't you big boy?"

Dean spat blood on the floor and then he looked at her, lip curling at he did. "Ben's already safe bitch. Rufus has him." He looked to his brother, raised an eyebrow. "Control issues?"

Sam touched a hand to his forehead. "I can't kill her Dean."

"So you keep saying? Care to tell me why?" Blood dripped down again from Dean's mouth as he spoke.

Meg chortled and moved a little closer. "Shouldn't keep secrets from your brother Sammy, it never ends well. Little brother can't kill me, can you Sammy? See Dean, the thing is, he can't control it anymore. He kills me, he fries sweet, nice Lisa with me. Isn't that right Sam? Kill the demon, kill the host. I've been watching you. So I'm afraid Dean that you took all that abuse for nothing."

Dean sobbed out a shaky breath. "Tell me she's lying."

Sam moved closer to Dean, holding up a hand and stopping Meg as she stepped towards them. She frowned, tried to move again, realised that she couldn't. Once he was happy that she was immobile Sam turned back to Dean. "I'm sorry. I should have told you."

"Yeah? Add it to the list." Dean's head dropped again and his breathing was too laboured for Sam's liking. He crouched down next to him and his brother dropped his head onto his shoulder and started talking softly.

"What are you two girls whispering about?" Meg tilted her head and smiled coldly at them. "Plotting my downfall?"

"No, just let me sent her back to Hell instead," Sam pleaded with his brother, ignoring her question.

"Oh, he's not gonna let you do that are you Dean? Leave the door opened for me to come back and pay little Lisa and Benny boy another visit? You can't do what he wants Sam. All powerful and you still can use it to help your brother? How does that feel? It's gotta be a kick in the guts, yeah?" Meg yawned. "I mean are you even sure that you could exorcise me without hurting Lisa Sammy, cause I gotta say, I don't think that you can."

Sam twisted his hand, temper flaring in him. "You want me to try?" Lisa coughed and black smoke drifted from her lips.

Dean shook his head and then groan loudly at the pain the action caused. "NO. You think I sat through this to just let her get away? She said it herself, she'll find a way to come back. She'll hunt them down again. I want her dead Sam. Beheaded, nailed to the coffin, DEAD!"

"I'm not doing what you're asking."

Using what strength he had left Dean lifted his head. "Yeah. You damn well will. I want her out of Lisa."

"I won't do that." Sam's eyes flicked over to Meg. "I don't even know if I can."

"You can." Dean sounded so sure that it made Sam look back at him. "I know you can. Please, just until we can find something else."

"This is a stupid idea." Sam ran his hand through his hair.

"When you wanted to say yes, I did what you asked. I stood by you and did what you wanted me to do. Respected your decision. Even after it was done I still did what you wanted, it killed me every damn day but I still did it because you asked me to. Now I'm asking you to let me do this."

Sam's eyes widened. "You're gonna use that against me?"

Dean features hardened, his eyes steely. "If it gets me what I want? Yeah."

Sam stood and paced. He stopped with his back to both of them, missing Meg's smug look that she threw Dean's way.

He turned. "You're really want me to do _this_?," he asked not actually directing the question at Dean or waiting for an answer. "Fine." Waving his arms wide Sam caved. "This is just temporary, that's if I can actually do it, and if we can't find somewhere else to put her; I'm sending her back to Hell whether you like it or not." Sam knelt on the floor and pulled the spray paint and the first aid kit from the bag. "First I'm patching you up, no arguments!"

Standing Sam pulled Lisa's table out of the way and folded the rug back. Then he took the can of spray paint and went to start the devil's trap.

"What the hell are you doing?," Dean all but breathed out.

"What does it look like. I need somewhere to put her while I see to you."

Dean shook his head. "Lisa's gonna have your ass."

"At least that'll mean that we've got her back." Sam drew the circle and then stepped inside it and started filling in the symbols.

Meg raised an eyebrow and hid her knowing smile. "So just what are you boys going to do with me then?"

Dean summoned up the last of his strength and grinned at her. "I'm gonna give you that cheap thrill you wanted. I'm gonna let you ride around in my skin."

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Thank you for all the reviews. As an extra thank you, here's the next chapter. Don't say I'm not good to you…well apart from….remember I said you guys were gonna hate me? :) :)

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"Some of these are really deep Dean. Almost hospital deep." Sam's worried hands moved expertly over the wounds on his brother's chest, examining, assessing and treating each one whilst trying to avoid the bruises that littered the torso between them. Dean also had some nasty looking bite marks on his neck and shoulders.

The bites he treated with cream and bandages. The smaller wounds he dressed but two gashes at the bottom of Dean's ribs needed stitched. The one he was working on now was on his brother's arm, and it alarmed Sam how much blood was on the floor under where the arm had been hanging.

"Just stitch it Sam," his brother groused, Dean's patience and pain threshold both stretched to breaking point.

"Dean…"

"Quit stalling Sam, just get it done or give me the damn needle and I'll do it myself. Wouldn't be the first time." Dean held out his other hand and Sam looked at the bloody ring round his brother's wrist and watched the tremor work its way down to the offered palm.

Sighing he turned the wound towards him a little.. "No, I got it. Hold still."

* * *

Dean was back sitting on the chair again Sam having patched up his brother's injuries as best as he could. The chair was in the devil's trap and Sam had Lisa/Meg gripped in his hand, both of them watching as Dean checked the cuffs Sam had tightened. "These are loose."

"Your wrist's are cut to hell, I'm not tightening them any further. They'll hold."

Dean rolled his eyes but said nothing..

"You sure about this?," Sam asked again.

Dean still didn't answer he just shot Sam a look that shut him up.

"I could still screw this up," the younger brother confessed, worry in his eyes.

His elder sibling looked back up at him. "You won't. Okay? I trust you."

"So once she's in what do I do then?"

"Take Lisa upstairs, the bedrooms are safe…."

"Safe?" Sam interrupted.

His brother bit his lip, threw Lisa a look. "I lifted the carpets when she was out, put traps on the floor underneath the beds."

That got a strangled laugh from Sam. "Couldn't have told me that before I destroyed her hardwood floor?"

"Sorry." Dean flashed him a grin and then sobered. "Just get her up there and then you call Bobby and you figure a way to get Meg inside someone else, someone that it doesn't matter if we fry them."

"I fry them," Sam altered, giving a little eye roll at how easy a task his brother seemed to think he was setting him. "I don't like this Dean. I don't like this at all."

"Really? Can't say I'm too fussed about it myself but there isn't anyone else and like I said, I want the bitch dead, not hurting. Dead."

Closing his eyes briefly, Sam pushed Lisa away and lifted his hand.

"Wait!," Dean called.

"What now," Sam almost huffed.

"My tat, I don't think it's still in one piece but did you check?"

Sam stepped into the circle and lifted the fresh t-shirt that he'd gotten for his brother. "She's cut through it."

"Fine." Dean took a deep breath. "Let's do this."

Meg played her last card, her killer home run. "How do you know she isn't dead already? A little crack of the neck after I was inside?" She shot Dean a playful look.

Cold, angry eyes looked into hers. "For your sake, I hope that isn't true," Dean answered quietly.

Hesitating only until he felt his brother's eyes rest back on him, Sam stepped out of the circle again and lifted his hand. Black smoke curled instantly from Lisa's lips. It rose up into the air and hung there for a second as Sam gave Dean one last look.. Lisa collapsed on the floor and started to cough and relief slid into the older Winchester's features. He signalled with a nod of his head. "Do it Sam."

The black smoke swirled slightly and then it dipped down, sliding into Dean's mouth and nose, his turn to cough as it slowly entered him. Once it was all gone Dean's head dropped to his chest. His brother took a worried step closer.

"Dean?" Lisa's voice sounded from behind Sam and he turned. "Sam?" She looked up at him with confusion in her eyes. "What happened?" Confusion turned to horror. "Oh my God, she made me…." Lisa raised a hand to her mouth. "I cut him."

"It wasn't you. He knows that Lisa. It wasn't you." Sam moved beside her and pulled her to her feet, hugging her to him as he did.

Panic flashed in Lisa's eyes. "Where's Ben, they took Ben!"

"Easy. Ben's safe Lisa. A hunter friend of ours has got him. I'll get you to him shortly."

"Is she gone?" Lisa trembled in his arms and he rubbed her arm, trying to comfort her.

"Not exactly."

"Where is she then?"

It was so wrong that when Dean lifted his head, the eyes that stared back at them black, whispered memories of the pit stirring in Sam at the sight. He fought them down.

"Is she….oh no," Lisa started to back away. "No. How did she do that? How did she get into him? He has that tattoo…." She looked up at Sam, the guilt on his face filling in some of the blanks for her. "Did you do that?"

"He asked me too. He wanted you safe. Come on, let's get you upstairs." Sam started to pull her away from his brother.

Dean's voice stopped them. "He's using you, you know that right? He has no intentions of staying here and playing house with you, you were just something to pass the time with. Boy always did like an easy lay and you were that for him weren't you? Just like before, you just lay down and let him in."

"It's not him. She just trying to upset you." Sam moved beside Lisa, gently took her hand.

Lisa shrugged him off and moved back in front of Dean. "I know that you can sift through his thoughts, you did it to mine but I know that isn't how he feels about me, how he looks at me. You lie, I know that. Dean loves me, maybe not the way I love him but still, in his own way he loves me."

"Oh please. No he doesn't, it's all just lip service Lisa baby. Keeping you sweet so that he had somewhere to stay. So he wasn't alone. Dean doesn't do alone well does he?" The laugh that Sam had waited so long to hear wasn't the one he wanted when it came. "Hell he didn't even protect you and you think that's love?"

Lisa took a deep breath. "Dean told me everything. He told me all about you. He hates you. So if he didn't love me, was just using me, why would he let you, of all things, inside him just to save me? Lie your way out of that!" She didn't wait for a reply, just turned on her heel and went upstairs leaving Sam standing there grinning at the thing that was wearing his brother.

"She's got your card marked," Sam smiled back at his possessed brother. "You two behave now. I won't be long."

* * *

Meg started to talk the minute Sam was out of earshot. "I thought they'd never leave. Alone at last. I knew you couldn't leave this with me just being packed back to the holiday camp downstairs. In fact, I counted on it. I knew you'd want me dead and I knew that you'd want me out of Lisa. So predictable. Didn't count on Sam not being able to do his little trick though, huh Dean? Didn't count on me wanting to be in you? I knew that you'd never given me the incantation willingly, hence the little charade to get you to let me in. Did you like what I did there Dean, played you good, didn't I?," she laughed. "Now let's see if I can get what I came here for? Where did you file away that incantation and the location of the rings?" Dean's face morphed into a frown as she ransacked his thoughts. "Going to play it like that are you Dean, that could be fun. As least I know where the rings are now and you _are_ going to let me see that incantation, I promise you that." She wriggled his body in the seat and leaned forward.

"Did you know that I tried to possess you once before? Couldn't figure out how you blocked me so I decided to have some fun and possessed Sam instead. I can still hear his screams when I made him watch me gut Wandel with his own hand. So delicious." Dean's hand moved and she jerked his thumb against the wood of the chair until it dislocated. She started to tear the skin on his wrists more then with the edge of the metal, blood slicking her progress. "It wasn't until I found out that you were Michael's vessel that I realised why I couldn't. Seems you can't possess a vessel without it's express consent, or a little help, hence the little show that I put on here." She pulled and Dean's hand started to slip through the cuff.

"What was that? What about dear old daddy?" She started to work the hand free. "Mary bought John's life with her own. My daddy owned your daddy after that and he always leaves a little back door there for his own use, emergency access, just in case. He left one in you too Dean, shame I couldn't use it. As for Sam though, well as you know, thanks to mommy dearest, boy's got my daddy's blood inside him. Why it's like we're almost family Dean! So not a back door as such with Sammy, more like a free pass for a ride anytime I like. Pity about the damn tattoo, because I sure would like to have got up close and personal with your brother now. Can you imagine what I could do with all that power?" Dean's tongue licked his lips. "Still, can't have everything. I'll settle for getting Lucifer free and then I'll claim my reward for my loyalty." One final tug and Dean's hand slipped free of the cuff. "Should have made him tighten them properly Dean. Now let's see…..wasn't counting on the trap but I'm sure I can find a way out."

She dug around in Dean's thoughts as she dug a hand into his pocket. "So you really did get the boy. Getting smart in your old age Dean, just not smart enough." Her hand found his phone and she pulled it clear, tossed it on the seat. Digging back in again she came out with his lighter, his car keys and a paperclip. She turned the latter object round in her hand. "See, you expected to run into trouble, didn't you? Didn't plan on ending up as my bullet shield though did you?" Her little laugh escaped his lips. "Now d'you want to show me how to open this other set of cuffs before little brother comes back? _No?_ Dean. I'm disappointed. Guess I'll just have to do it the hard way. Let's see, where is what I'm looking for," she wracked his thoughts for an answer, "ah, yes." A minute later she was free of the cuffs. Using the car keys she quickly scratched a gap in the outside circle and stepped out. Grabbing Dean's gun and his jacket she headed for the door smiling as she did. "Too easy. You really think that I hadn't planned ahead? Now what do you say you and I blow this gaffe?"

She stopped on the pavement outside and smelled the roses of her victory. "Final kick in the jewels Dean, I get to be inside both your girls today." She chuckled as she headed for the Impala. "Gonna take this baby for a burn!"

* * *

Lisa had her head down the toilet when Sam caught up with her. He stepped by her and ran the water, grabbing the glass from the shelf and then filling it. "Here, help to wash the taste away."

She took it from him. "Nothing is ever going to wash her taste away." Leaning back on the wall she started to cry. "I'm sorry." Lisa wiped at her tears. "Is Ben really okay? Can you take me to him?"

"I'll call Rufus. We'll get him to bring him here, I'll get Rufus to stay with you while we figure out a way to get her out of Dean." Sam examined the cuts on her arms. "These don't look to bad."

"I'll live. I can see to these. Why don't you just exorcise her? I heard that bit, you know you can."

"Dean would never speak to me again if I did that, besides he's right, if we don't finish her now, she could come back. Meg is like a dog and hurting Dean and the people he cares about, it seems to be her bone."

"How did she find us?," Lisa asked as he took his hand and pulled herself to her feet.

Sam's eyed clouded and he looked away. "I don't know. Maybe it was me. She might have followed me. It looks that way."

Lisa reached over and touched his arm. "Hey, this is not your fault Sam. I think Dean was always worried that they'd find us somehow. If anything it's mine. If I'd have just let him do the protection that he wanted to."

"We all do things we regret Lisa." He stepped back at that. "Listen I'd better get back, Dean says that there's protection on this room, traps on the floor under the carpet."

She shook her head. "I knew the furniture had been moved." She grinned weakly. "He told me he'd been hoovering…"

Sam actually managed a laugh at that. "You believed him?"

Lisa shrugged. "Dean does some odds things some times. Stops him thinking he told me."

He sobered at that. "So listen, can you get on the bed, stay there until I call for you?" She nodded and he helped her up. "It's gonna be okay Lisa, Dean and I, we'll sort this. She isn't going to get the chance to hurt you again."

Sam was halfway down the stairs when he heard it, a sound that he'd know anywhere. Tearing down the final few steps he took a glance into the living room and cursed. He piled out the front door just in time to watch the Impala peel away from the kerb.

"Screw it!," he shouted after it, starting to run for his own car. By the time he got it started and to the junction the Impala was gone. He got out of the car and slammed the door shut. "No, no, no, no, no!," he shouted at the emptiness around him.

It mocked him with its quiet in return.

TBC

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The middle part of this was a bear to write with trying to explain round the possessions without getting myself in a knot! I think I managed it but if you see anything wrong in there...don't tell me. lol.


	12. Chapter 12

Posting and running tonight. A thank you again for all the reviews, you guys rock and I suck at not getting the replies done, but I want this one finished so that I can get back to Walls!

Enjoy!

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"It's pointless fighting me Dean, it's not like this is my first rodeo and I ain't found a stud that I couldn't break yet. You're only tiring yourself and I ain't some low level demon that you can get one over on," Meg said as she pulled the car into the lot outside the lock-up. She leant back and closed his eyes, tried to dig round deep inside him, frowning as he blocked her again. "Still not wanting to cough up that incantation? Never mind. We'll get to that. I can feel you weakening Dean. I really did a number on you didn't I?"

She ran his hand over where she knew the worst of the damage was on his chest and felt it as the tremors ran through the skin beneath the touch. "Hurts doesn't? Even with me in here helping, everything hurts. Just like the good old days eh? Had to make you _want_ me dead Dean, not that you probably didn't before. It worked too and even better? _I enjoyed it_ and you are SO pissed at me, I feel all giddy inside." She stopped in front of the door, lifted the combination padlock with his hand. "So, are you gonna give me the numbers I need or do I have to come get them? LiIke I thought, but that's okay Dean, I love a challenge! It always has to be the hard way with you doesn't it?"

The lock-up was cold and dark when she finally got to step inside. Moving to her right she ran her hands over some of the objects that were sitting on the shelves, her eyes coming to rest on the lock boxes. "So is this stuff all things that you've found or is this daddy's little treasure trove? Not talking to me Dean? Fine. Now let's see." He fought her but she still got the information that she wanted. Walking into a little area that was cordoned off in the centre Meg stopped. "Anything that I should know here Dean, because it'll be your funeral, not mine?"

The line was so fine she doubted that she would have seen it without his help. "See there you go Dean, teamwork." The box was sitting on the shelf next to her right hand. Reaching down she picked it up and paused. "Dean?" After a moment she opened it. "Good boy. Now let's see if I can't get you to give me the incantation and we're good to go."

* * *

Bobby tried to calm Sam down, the younger man's distress making his own heart tighten with worry. "She took him Bobby. I put her in him and then let her walk out the door with him. I shouldn't have left him." There was a whole lot more unsaid in the way he uttered the last words. Standing Sam started to pace. "If she hurts him anymore than she has already I swear….. " He stopped, walked back and threw himself into the seat. "That and he's the only one that knows where the rings are and if she manages to get him to gives her them and what she needs to use them we're screwed. All of us."

The elder hunter had arrived twenty minutes after Meg had disappeared with Dean. They were now sitting in Lisa's kitchen trying to figure out their next move. Rufus was on his way to them with Ben, while an anxious Lisa threw coffee and food at them in an effort to keep herself busy and sane.

"When I see your brother, I'm gonna kick his ass for this little stunt, you hear me? Then I might just kick yours for good measure for helping him." The words were harsh but Bobby was too worried to put any sting behind them. "Okay, think. If Dean didn't have the rings on him, where would he take them?" He looked to Lisa. "You said he brought the weapons duffle with him didn't you?"

She nodded. "Meg got it from the front porch."

"Why didn't he have the stuff here?," Bobby growled at them both.

Sam answered. "Lisa didn't want any of that stuff in the house." He shot her an apologetic look as he spoke.

"Because I'm an idiot," she stated, throwing the dish towel that she was holding into the sink and gripping the edge of it. "Shouldn't we be out looking instead of just standing here?"

Bobby held up a hand. "Need to know where to look honey. So," he asked looking between them, "either of you know if Dean or your daddy have a lock-up near here?"

Lisa shook her head. "Sorry no."

Sam swept his hair off his face with a hand, stilling it on his head and bringing the other up to join it. "I don't know either. Dean was the one that knew where some of them where. If there's one near here, I don't know where."

"Okay. Plan of action. Rufus used to live round these parts, we can search for local lock-ups until he gets here and see if he knows if there are any in particular that hunters might use."

They were still hunched over the laptop when Lisa's squeal of Ben's name alerted them to Rufus' arrival and they trudged outside armed with a list of places.

"Mom," Ben got out as Lisa death hugged him.

"Lady, I didn't rescue your boy for him t'die of damn crush injuries when I got him here." The grizzled hunter shook his head at the scene before him and stepped by the two Braedens. "How the hell did she get your brother?," he addressed to Sam. "What happened to all that mojo that I know you got going on?"

Bobby waved him off. "Long story and we ain't got time. We think Dean might have had a store nearby. There's four in the area. Do you know if any of these are used by local hunters?"

Rufus frowned. "Been a spell since I worked out this way….Let's see." He glanced down the list and then stopped, casting a look out on the street as he did. "Where's your brother's horse?"

"The Impala? She took it," Sam enlightened him.

Rufus' smile put the sun to shame and his chuckle was deep throated. "Did she now? Well that's gonna be your only piece of luck today."

Bobby and Sam exchanged a look. "How?"

"I low jacked it a while back. Still there as far as I know." The exchanged look became hopeful as both men watched as Rufus walked over to his car and pulled out a small hand held device. Switching it on he frowned over the screen for a minute or two. "Let me see that there list." Taking it he checked the screen and then looked up. His smile had somehow managed to get brighter. "Got the bitch!"

"Let's go." Sam was already on his way round the car. "Bobby can you stay with Lisa and Ben?"

The older hunter nodded. "Go get my boy and say hello to Meg from me," he said in a tone laced with bitterness.

Sam paused briefly a dark fire in his eyes for a second that Bobby wasn't really sure that he liked. "Oh believe me, I will."

* * *

Meg looked down at the rings and sighed. She needed him to cave and cave soon but he was still fighting her. Time to get creative she thought. Looking round the shelves she lifted and laid things until she found what she was looking for. The small dagger was straight and smooth. It would hurt but the damage wouldn't be too much for him to handle, until she decided that it would be. "Gonna make me do this Dean?"

There was no response from the host of the body she was in so she lifted his t-shirt and slowly slid the blade in through his skin, delighting at how smoothly the sharp implement slipped home. "Your turn."

Dean gasped as she gave him back control, the small dagger slicing deeper as he moved to try and free it. His breath came in painful hitches as he slowly retracted it from his side. "Sonuvabitch," he mutter lowly as it came free and fell to the ground with a clatter. He tried to move, head for the door but she brought him up sharp, reclaimed control.

"No, no, no. You aren't going anywhere until I get what I want." She rifled through the items next to her and came up with a handful of salt that she shoved into the wound, following it with his fingers . She twisted them and then dropped back inside as she did.

Dean cursed and pulled his hand free, dropping to his knees and falling against the wall. She took back control and stood him back up. "Now that hurt didn't it baby? So much better torturing from the inside. Who knew? We might start a new trend."

She reached for dagger, lifting it and sliding it down the skin of his arm, neatly opening the wound that Sam has so carefully stitched. Slipping it under the flesh she sliced into the meat below it. As she gave him back control he ignore the pain from the knife, reaching for the flask on the shelf beside him. He opened it and drunk the contents before she could wrestle back hold. Dean's body coughed as she raged inside him at the burn the holy water caused. "Oh very clever but that's the only win you're getting today. Drained you, didn't it? Guess what? I didn't like that. Not one little bit. This game is so on. Let's see what else we can find here." Pulling the dagger out with another vicious twist she looked round the store. "Oh looky see! Pliers! Tell me Dean, how much do you like having nails?" She fastened them to his finger nail and pulled.

"Goddamned bitch!," Dean hissed, the pliers dropping as he wrapped his injured hand with his good one. Blood loss was catching up on him, he could feel it.

She was winning and there was nothing he could do about it.

The noise of a car pulling up into the lot had her back in the driving seat quickly. Reaching behind her she snatched the gun from the waistband of his jeans and flipped the safety. Quickly she checked the clip and then locked it back in place. "Give me what I want or things are going to turn ugly." Meg rummaged through his thoughts again, came up against the same, albeit now loosely, locked door. "That's very impressive Dean. Now let's see if I can impress you. Tell me what I want to know or I'm going to make you shoot your brother. Tick tock Dean." With that she stepped further into the shadows and waited.

Meg could feel him struggling weakly inside now, fighting for control but she shoved him down. "Too little, too late Dean."

Sam stepped through the door followed quickly by Rufus.

"Last chance," she muttered quietly. "Fine, don't say I didn't warn you."

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

A longer one here for you! There is a death in this so I've put who at the bottom just in case you want to know before you read it!

Thank you again for all the reviews on this one, sorry that the individual replies have stopped but time is now limited as my son is off school for the summer so that means no peace for me until he goes to bed! RL, who would have one! lol

* * *

"She here?," Rufus enquired quietly, pausing just inside the doorway.

"She has to be." Sam wasn't sure if it was a wish or a statement. He stepped further into the lock up trying to get his eyes to adjust from the brightness outside to the dull light of the interior.

"Sam!" Dean stepped from the shadows, gun raised in his hand. Black eyes met the younger Winchester's own as he looked up. "No!" Dean cried this time and Sam watched the eyes flickered briefly to green as the sound of the gunshot echoed through the enclosed space. He raised a hand but couldn't stop it from happening.

The shot missed him, slicing by his arm and hitting Rufus dead in the chest. The hunter crumpled instantly. Dean had managed through long enough to pull the shot wide of his brother but not the man next to him. Sam froze, his eyes drawn down and locked to the fallen form of Rufus until a noise, a small metallic chink, drew his attention. He looked back to the figure of his brother and then down again to see the horseman's rings lying on the ground at Dean's feet.

"_**Finally**_." It's was the sound of Dean's voice that drew his head back up. Black eyes stared triumphantly at Sam from his brother's ashen face, finger tightening on the trigger of the gun even as Meg let the words fall from Dean's mouth. "Baymo, Tamo, Ed…."

Sam raised his hand, more instinct than thought and hit out at her as the ground at Dean's feet heaved and then started to crack. A light sparked briefly inside his brother and then Dean dropped, crashing to the floor in a boneless slump. The gun skittered away into the darkness.

The silence that followed the action was deafening. The ground calmed and Dean just lay there, still and unmoving. Behind Sam, Rufus groaned. "Hey, kid?"

Lifting his hands to his head Sam looked at the slumped form of his brother. He was routed to the spot. Fear of what he might have just done filled him.

"Kid! You with me?" The hoarse cry from behind him finally made Sam move but not in the direction that he really wanted, but was afraid to. Turning he walked over and knelt beside Rufus, sliding the man's jacket back to get a look at the damage, eyes briefly flicking back to his brother's fallen form.

"Shit, that hurts," the older hunter managed out between gasps for breath, his eyes seeking Sam's to acknowledge what deep down he already knew. "I'm screwed right?"

"No, no," the young Winchester tried to reassure even as he pulled his hand away bloody. "I can get help. Maybe I can stop the bleeding." Sam's eyes did a desperate but unfocused search of the room for something to use, avoiding the place he really wanted to look most of all as he did.

The older hunter gripped his hand. "Boy, it's okay, like I said, I'm screwed. You know it and I know it. I can feel it." Rufus sucked in a pain wracked breath. "That thing you did with your brother, that you told me about in the car here, think you can do it again? Get her outta him. Use me?" Rufus coughed and blood trickled down his chin. "Need t' hurry though. Don't think I'm gonna last much longer."

Sam finally looked over and rested his eyes on the brother's fallen shape. "I don't know if…I hit them pretty hard….what if I've….."

"Sam?" Rufus' voice was stronger somehow. Calm. Resigned. "Ain't gonna know how he is until you do this. Just put her in here," he tapped his chest with the finger of the hand that was resting across it," and then finish her, put me outta my misery at the same damn time.."

"I can't. Let me get you help." Sam went to stand but Rufus dropped his hand to the younger man's knee.

"Be doing me a kindness boy. It ain't gonna get any less painful from here and I ain't gonna make it. Just delaying the inevitable. You know that. Look at me." Sam wiped at his face and looked down into Rufus' eyes. "Save your brother. This is your best shot. I screwed up, I let the bitch find him and his girl, least I can do's make that right, 'fore I go. Ain't no other easier way to do this. Fetch the bitch on over to me boy, I'll hold her and you can hit her." He laughed, choking on his own blood as he did.

"I need to check him first." Standing Sam walked over on shaky legs to where his brother lay. He knelt down beside him, picking up the rings first and splitting them between his pockets. In the poor light he couldn't tell if Dean was even breathing. His hand stalled halfway to his brother's neck. "I shouldn't have come. I should have just let you be. Let you hate me and be mad at me. Please don't be dead." Reaching down he touched a hand to Dean's neck, searching for the sign that there was still something to save.

"Gonna have to hurry it along there boy, 'less you can find another host willing to let you fry the bitch in 'em." Rufus's weak and pain filled voice drifted to him across the quiet. "Gotta hurry," he whispered out.

Dean's heartbeat was a little too fast but it was there. Sam let out the breath he didn't know that he'd been holding and gazed back across to Rufus. "You sure about this?"

"Sure I'm dying, ain't that enough?"

Sam brushed Dean's head with his hand. "Please be okay." He lifted the hand and started to pull Meg from his older brother. Black smoke lazily trickled from his brother's mouth and nose, gathering in the air in front of him. He stared at it, glanced down at his still prone sibling. "Dean?" He called the name quietly, hoping for a response and getting none.

"Kid, I ain't gonna get much older over here." Rufus' voice dragged Sam back to the here and now. With a flick of his wrist he all but threw Meg's essence across the room and into the older hunter. He watched as the man convulsed as he swallowed down the demon.

He expected a smart assed comment as he stood and walked back over to where Rufus still lay but it was still the hunter that was in control. Confusion flashed in his eyes but Rufus' grin and words eased it. "She's in here, don't worry. I can feel her."

"Why hasn't she taken control?" Rufus seemed please but Sam felt sick. This was going to be so much harder this way. This way it wasn't Meg he was killing.

"Bitch is out cold. Must have been some hit you gave her." He caught the worried look in Sam's eye. "Dean'll be fine. She ain't dead, feels like when you got a concussion 'cept it's her not me that has it."

"Her being in there'll give me time to get you help….."

Rufus shook his head. "Won't matter son. As soon as you get her out, I'd be dead anyway. 'sides, where else you gonna put her? Just remember to do my send off right and we're good."

"I will."

"Do me a favour kid?," the hunter choked out.

"Anything."

Rufus chuckled and coughed blood into his hand again. "Damn." He closed his eyes for a second then looked up at Sam. "Look after that fool brother of yours for me, God knows someone has to. And you boys behave now, you hear?" Rufus signalled him down. Sam knelt down. "No more fightin', life's too damn short to be mad at the people you love for no good reason."

"Yeah." Sam heard a groan behind him and realised that if Dean was stirring then Meg would be too. "Is she coming round?"

Rufus tensed and Sam reached out a hand. The hunter froze and Sam knew that Meg was back in charge. "So what now? You fry me and Rufus and go play happy families with your brother and his little slut? Fine, fry Rufus." Meg dropped back down and Rufus' eyes slid from black back to their normal colour. "That's exactly what he's gonna do," the older hunter said to no one in particular then he looked at Sam and smiled. "Don't mind her son, just do it."

"Sam…." Turning Sam watched as his brother somehow managed to pull himself into a sitting position, using the wall behind him to prop himself up on. "What happened? Where is she?" Dean reached for the shelf at head height and started to pull himself onto his knees cursing as he pulled on his injured side and arm. He almost fell back but his own sheer pig headedness got him there. Head resting on the shelf between his hands he turned to look at Sam. "Where….?," he stopped mid sentence a small hiss of breath escaping as pain flared through him.

"She's here. I've got her Dean. Stay there." Sam drew his attention back to Rufus. The man inside the shell was almost gone and Sam knew that the demon was probably the only thing keeping him breathing. Still it didn't make what he was going to do any easier. He'd killed before but this was different. More personal. Someone he knew.

"You've got her?," Dean's voice was closer and when Sam turned he could see that his brother was on his feet now, using the wall to work his way towards them.

"Jesus Dean," Sam muttered as he held Meg pinned and stood to help his brother, worrying filling him as he took in Dean's unfocused stare. "You okay?"

Dean narrowed his eyes, swayed slightly. "Peachy." His glaze drifted to the fallen man on the floor. "Is she in Rufus?" He brought a hand to his head. "Shit, I shot him. Didn't I?," he asked, the confusion in his voice making Sam frown. "Is he alright?"

Sam looked back to Rufus and the pool of blood that the hunter lay in. He wondered briefly just what his brother was seeing that could even make him think that the fallen hunter was in any way alright. "No," he said gently. "I think you must have clipped something inside, he's bleeding out too fast to save." Sam tightened his grip as his brother swayed against him.

"He's dying?" Dean blinked a few times.

Sam nodded. "Yeah. He asked me to put her in him and then to finish it."

Dean seemed to hear it and rally at that. "No. I'll do it."

Sam rounded on him, careful to ensure that he was still keeping Meg locked down for now. She was quiet, too quiet. "How are you gonna do that? Something that you want to tell me?"

His brother snorted at that. "Only that Ruby's knife should be in the car. Front seat."

"Oh."

"Go get it. I'll finish this." He stepped free from his brother and slid down the wall before Sam could catch him.

"No," Sam crouched down, touched a hand worriedly to his brother's damp brow. "I can manage."

"Killing Meg's one thing. I don't want you to be the one that kills Rufus."

The hunter in question's voice cut through the small silence. "Not like Sam hasn't killed a hunter before, is it Sam? He enjoys the kill part a little too much for my taste, and that's saying something" Meg used Rufus' face to grin at them but Sam twisted his hand and she quietened again.

Dean gripped his brother's arm. "I need to do this, now that I can. Just get me the knife. Please?"

Sam hesitated, then he nodded and stood, looking to see if he could keep Rufus in sight while he made the car. "I'll just be a minute."

Meg waited until he was outside to bait Dean. "Scared to let your little brother take me out Dean? Worried about what it'll do to him? Might be enough to tip him back over to the dark side eh?"

Sam stopped on the way back in, pausing outside the door. He was just out of Dean's line of sight and wanting to hear what his brother would say before he stepped back inside.

Dean laughed bitterly. "No bitch. If he could have taken you out in the house without hurting Lisa I'd have let him take you down in a heartbeat. There might be a lot of things not right with my brother but he isn't the thing that's evil in this room. So I have no qualms about letting him loose on your ass. Now that you got me here though there's a little something that I've been dying to try on a demon. You gonna stand there all day Sam?"

Shaking his head the younger brother stepped back inside and Dean gestured with his head to his right. "On the shelf over there, there's half a dozen blue bottles, bring me one over."

Doing as he was told Sam fetched the bottle, turning it over in his hand and examining it before handing it down to Dean.

"What's that?" Meg asked warily beating Sam to the question.

"Small parting gift." Dean raised his free hand to his head, groaned as a wave of pain crashed through him. "I'd let Sam do this if I had to but this is going to be so much better though. This way I get to do what I did to your dear old daddy. I get to be the one that sends you down screaming, down past Hell, down somewhere that you ain't ever gonna crawl back out of. You, your brother and that yellow eyed bastard can rot together for eternity."

Sam walked towards them, held out the knife to his brother, eyed the bottle again. "What is that?"

The elder Winchester managed a little grin/grimace reaching up and taking the blade. "Something Castiel gave me before he left. It won't hurt Rufus, even if it wasn't too late, but her?" He lent forward. "I changed my mind about not wanting you hurting and I need a guinea pig for this stuff. Tails, you're it." He held up the hand with the missing nail and then slowly brought it to rest under Rufus' chin, pushing the head up and back. "Sam? Loosen your grip. I want her to be able to move."

"What are you doing? What is that?," Meg queried as Dean unscrewed the lid with the thumb of the hand that was holding the bottle and tipped the contents up and into Rufus' nostrils. The body bucked the minute it rolled inside. "No." The convulsions started a second later. "No, stop it! Stop it!"

Sam knew that Dean had said that it was only the demon that was suffering but still it was Rufus that he was seeing thrashing on the floor. He locked his eyes on Dean who sat impassively beside the writhing man, the depth of the hatred on his brother's face chilling him. He wasn't sure how long had passed before he couldn't stand it any more. Gently calling Dean's name he stepped forward and put a hand on his sibling's shoulder. "Enough."

Without looking at him Dean turned Ruby's knife in his hand and lent over. It was Rufus that stared back. "Bitch didn't like that, not at all, me on the other hand," a little wry smile crossed his face as he spoke. "I enjoyed it just fine." He let his eyes fall closed, breathing ragged. "Time to get this over with Dean."

"I'm sorry," Dean whispered quietly to Rufus and then he drove the knife straight down and into the hunter's heart. Both brothers watched the light burn briefly inside their fallen friend and then Sam was pulling Dean to his feet, wanting to get himself and his brother out of the darkness of the lock up and into the light of the day outside.

"Can't leave him here," Dean said, rallying a little as they reached sunlight and fighting Sam's hold on him.

"I want you clear. I'll come back, get Bobby to help…"

"No." Dean tried to shrug him off and failed, ended up leaning more against his brother than he had been. His voice was rough with emotion when he spoke. "This is my mess. I'm going to be the one to clean it up."

Sam huffed. "How?," he almost barked at his brother. "You can barely stand."

Dean looked at him with hurt, tired eyes. "We are not leaving him here like this."

His brother looked to the car as if for inspiration. He seemed to find it. "Then we'll take him with us. We can clean him and prep him back at the house. Bobby's here and he's got the van. Once we're ready we can take him somewhere, I promised him we'd send him off right."

"Fine. I can help."

Sam cut him off. "No you can't. Just let me get you in the car and I'll do this. We can finish the rest together. Just let me get this?"

His breathing shallow and pained Dean realised that Sam was right. He was done in. Probably even on the edge of going into shock, the air around them suddenly feeling cold against his clammy skin. He was fading now, the adrenaline rush or whatever it had been that had kept him going this long was passing. He knew that Sam could feel it too. "Okay."

"Let's get you in the car." Sam half dragged, half carried his brother over to the waiting Impala and then carefully helped him inside. "Are there any sheets or anything in there I can use?"

"Cupboard at the back, watch the trip wire, it's dad's usual set up." Sam nodded and disappeared. The little bottles on the shelf caught his eye, the ring clear of dust showing were he had lifted the one that Dean had used. He pocketed one, curious about them and intent on asking his brother about it later and then he went to grab the sheets.

Ten minutes later Rufus was wrapped and in the back of the car and Dean was out of it, resting and bleeding against the passenger door covered over with Sam's jacket.

"Just like old times," Sam muttered lovingly to the car, gripping the wheel tightly as he guided her down the open road and they headed for Lisa's.

* * *

I killed Rufus! Such a bad person but it was him or Bobby and I really have a soft spot for the auld yin (as we would say here in bonnie Scotland). Beside I may have plans for Mr Singer as well, all good of course! **whistles and walks away*


	14. Chapter 14

Firstly a huge apology for the enormous delay in updating anything in ages but I have been ill and the muse just wasn't in the mood to let me write. Better now but still not 100% so I will be updating but there will be delays - so thank you for bearing with me until I get my act together again.

Mary x

* * *

Bobby came out to help the minute the car pulled up outside the house. Sam shot him a grateful smile and eased open the passenger door, hand reaching out to steady his brother as he came with it. Dean was still out cold, his breathing was shallow and uneven and Sam was still in two minds whether or not he should be tripping to the hospital with him instead of pulling him out and taking him indoors.

"Where's Lisa?," he asked as he gently roused his brother, frowning as Dean took just that little bit too long to open his eyes and then promptly shut them again. Sighing Sam started to ease Dean out from the car glad that his brother appeared to at least be making some effort to help although his head stayed down.

"She's inside with Ben, trying to settle him." The older hunter's eyes shifted to the sheets in the rear of the car. "Rufus?," he asked needlessly.

A shake of the head was all Sam could manage.

"Stupid old son of a bitch. What happened to him?" Bobby took Dean's weight as Sam closed the passenger door.

"I killed him," Dean slurred out.

"Sure it ain't as simple as that." Bobby exchanged a look with Sam and then helped Dean off the car so that Sam could get in to get a grip too. "Let's get you indoors, see to you." Sam took Dean's other shoulder and together the two men walked him into the house.

Lisa was coming down the stairs when they entered the front hall. Her hand flew to her mouth, concern flooding her face as they brought Dean in and laid him out gently on the couch. Lisa's worry spiked Sam's own. His elder brother was still too quiet and compliant for his sibling's liking, just falling down onto the couch with a soft groan but never fully opening his eyes.

Bobby touched Sam's shoulder. "I'll see to Rufus, you tend to your brother." He turned to Lisa. "Your garage empty?" She nodded. "Good. I need the keys."

Lisa walked over to the hall table and lifted a small set of keys from a bowl there. "Should I ask?," she said as she put them into the old hunter's hand.

"Rufus didn't make it." Bobby turned at that and went to see to his old friend's corpse not waiting for her to reply.

* * *

"Gerroffme," Dean moaned as Sam worked his t-shirt free and then brought his hand down to the wound on Dean's side. He tried to push Sam's hands away. " 's fine, just a scratch." He peeled his head off the cushion and cracked an eye open though when Sam prodded at the cut again. "Jesus Sammy, go easy would you."

"Sorry, and it's not a scratch. I'm not even sure that it should be me that's stitching it and not some doctor at the local ER." He looked away from his brother's scowl. "I'm _gonna_ stitch it," he continued with a huff and a familiar eye roll that almost made Dean smile a little on the inside, "didn't say I wouldn't, said I shouldn't. You want anything before I start?"

"No." Dean let his head nestle back into the cushion and then blinked both eyes opened as he felt the touch of Lisa's hand on his head. "Not as bad as it looks," he managed out before Sam started to clean the wound wiping away his ability to speak with each pass of the cloth. "Shit." He ground the word out and closed his eyes again.

"I'm sorry." Both Sam and Lisa echoed the sentiment exchanging a look, the latter settling in at Dean's head, her hand gently carding through his hair as he lay there. Silently she watched Sam work, wondering how many times before he'd done this, his movements so sure and precise. Automatic. Like it was the most natural thing in the world to be sitting at your brother's side stitching knife wounds. It hit her then, made her kick herself for being so slow. _This was their normal_. Fighting evil. Getting hurt. Getting patched up. Rinse and repeat. Dean wasn't even making a noise anymore, just the odd tick in his face, as Sam's skilfully sowed his side and then moved onto his arm. Lisa knew that he was awake, could tell by his breathing but he just lay there quietly and let Sam patch him up. "He's a little warm," she offered to Sam as her hand moved down to wipe the little teardrops of sweat from his brow.

"The wound on his arm's a little swollen, might be an infection. There's antibiotics in my car, my kit's in the trunk. Could you get them and we can see if we can get him to take them?" Sam flicked his eyes briefly up to her, smiling and then dropped them down to his task again.

"Sure." Lisa gave Dean a gentle kiss on the head and then went to fetch Sam's bag.

"Him is right here you know," Dean snarked and opened an eye.

"So how bad is it really?," Sam asked as he heard the front door close. "Scale of one to ten."

"Fifteen." Dean groaned out. "Shoulder hurts like a bitch." He opened his eyes and Sam frowned at the glassy look in them. Feverish Dean was not the most manageable nor his favourite version of his big brother.

"Lisa's gone to get my kit, there's painkillers in there too." Sam finished his task and sat back.

"The good stuff?," Dean enquired.

Sam nodded.

"Shit messes with my head," the elder brother complained, raising his good arm and resting it across his eyes, blowing a gentle breath out as he did.

"Infection's probably gonna do that first anyway." Sam reached for the thermometer. "Open."

His brother obeyed and they both sat quietly until it beeped.

"100," Sam frowned at the piece of plastic in his hand as he spoke. "Need to keep an eye on it."

"Great."

Dean let his eyes drift close but opened them again as Sam nudged his good side. "No sleeping until you get the pills in you."

It was his turn to do the eye roll, "yeah, mom. Whatever."

Lisa appeared back with the first aid kit from Sam's car and he routed around in it finding the meds he needed as she fetched a glass of water from the kitchen. Dean scowled as they both hovered over him but he accepted Sam's help to gingerly ease himself into a sitting position and take the offered pills. He scowled more as they went to take an arm each and pull him to his feet. "I'm fine here."

"Nope." It was Lisa this time. "You are going upstairs and you are going to rest." She held up a hand before the expected complaint came. "I could use some down time too, you can keep me company."

Sam barked a little laugh at the skilful manoeuvre and at his brother's face which got him a look that sobered him instantly. "You're beat man, admit it and go and lie down," he offered. "Bobby and I have got this for now. Rufus ain't going anywhere. We can see to him when you've got some rest." He moved closer, lowered his voice. "Lisa seems a little shook up, she could do with having you beside her for a bit."

Press ganged from both sides Dean sighed. "Yeah. Okay. I can manage the bedroom on my own though and I want to check on Ben first." He pulled free and used his good arm for support as he climbed the stairs slowly and stiffly, drawing matching unseen looks of worry on his brother's and his girl's faces. "I've got him." Lisa turned and hugged Sam. "Thank you for coming back. Without you god knows what more she might have done to him. To us. Go help Bobby and then come up and get some rest yourself, you and Bobby. You both must be tired." She stepped back and wiped at her face, eyes glistening a little as she did. "It's been a long day. For all of us."

Sam watched as she climbed the stairs after Dean and then he headed out to the garage.

* * *

Dean was sitting on their bed when Lisa got upstairs.

"How's Ben?," she asked even though she'd popped her head in to check before she'd come looking for Dean. Lisa knelt down as she asked and started to loosen his boots.

"Sleeping."

"That's good." She looked at the blood soaked jeans he was wearing. "So how are we getting these off?"

"Slowly." Dean loosened the belt and the zipper and eased the fabric carefully away from his skin, hissing as it pulled on it and in turn on his stitches. Lisa rested her hand on the bandage that Sam had applied over the cut and gently peeled the rest off before working them down his legs and free. She repeated the process with his underwear and then fetched a towel and a damp cloth from the bathroom as he lay back against the pillows. Tucking the towel against his side she wiped the blood away from his hip and thigh and then dried him, fetching a clean pair of boxers and helping him into them. Dean gripped her hand as she went to stand pulling her to him and brushing her lips with his. "Thanks." He deepened the touch to a sweet, tender kiss and then let her go, lifting his hand to brush the hair back from her face. "Are you sure you're okay? She didn't hurt you did she?"

Lisa smiled and kissed him back. "A few cuts and bruises. Nothing I can't handle. It wasn't Ben and I she wanted Dean. What you did…..it was so stupid." She dropped her gaze and ran her fingers round the bandages on his wrists.

"Like you said, it wasn't you she wanted," he relaxed into the pillows, closed his eyes. "Didn't you say something about joining me here?" A little smile played on his lips.

"_You,_ are injured," she chided him, slipping out of her overshirt and jeans as she did and sliding in beside him in her underwear and t-shirt.

"Rain check," he muttered, breathing deepening already.

"Rain check." Lisa snuggled in against him and rested her arm lightly over his chest. Then she closed her eyes too.

* * *

Sam cleaned the Impala's back seat while Bobby cleaned and attended to both Rufus and the poor girl that Meg had worn. When they had finished they moved the cars around, backing Bobby's van into the driveway and gently resting the two corpses in the rear. They brought the Impala in to rest against the van and parked Lisa's car across the drive. Sam looked at the car he'd stolen and sighed. "Better go ditch this somewhere, just in case a cop goes by and the Winchester luck raises it's damn ugly head again." He started forward but Bobby's hand to his shoulder stopped him.

"You've had a long day, go rest, I can get rid of this and then I can come back and catch a few Zs on the couch."

Sam was too tired to protest, the length and stress of the day finally getting the chance to catch up with him. He stood until Bobby pulled away from the kerb and then he turned towards the house, thankful that he had some place to rest his head. Still he paused on the stoop and then circled to Bobby's van, finding the item that he needed. Sam walked back to the door and stepped inside, laying the salt lines just the way his brother had taught him years before, ensuring that every door and window was done that he could find. He paused outside the room that his brother and Lisa were sleeping in, drawn between not wanting to disturb them and making sure that they were all safe. Caution won and he stepped in quietly, pausing slightly to take in the peaceful scene of his brother and Lisa resting on the bed, the 'what ifs' of him and Jessica briefly surfacing as he did. Shaking them off he headed to the window and poured a generous amount of salt along the sill.

"What you doing?" Dean's quiet voice made him turn.

"Just locking up for the night."

Dean smiled at the words he used to use to his brother when Sam was little and had watched him do the salt lines. "You do Ben's too?"

"Door as well, nothing's getting near him again tonight." Sam walked over and placed his hand on Dean's shoulder. "Get some rest."

"You gonna take your own advice?"

"Bed's calling as I stand here."

"Better not keep it waiting." Lisa shifted beside Dean and Sam watched as his brother unconsciously dipped his head and kissed hers, waiting until she had settled down again before he lay back with a sigh. "Night Sam," he muttered gently as he relaxed back.

"Night Dean." Sam was almost at the door when Dean spoke again.

"Where do we go from here?" Dean had turned to face him his fingers absently stroking the skin of Lisa's arm that was still draped over his chest. Green eyes watched intently as Sam hesitated, searching for an answer.

"We'll figure it out Dean. That's what we do isn't it?"

His brother gave him a little half grin. "Yeah. I suppose it is."

Dean lay there for a while and smiled wryly as the thought hit him. He was back at the damned crossroads again. Same deal, same choice. Give up his life to keep his brother or let him go. He looked down at Lisa and sighed. This time he had no idea if he could do either.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Hey, so finally I have an update for this story! Don't think that it is going to be finished before Friday and the season premiere but you never know, live in hope and all that. I need to let you know that I saw a promo for the new season and this story looks as if it may sail close to where they are going so I am not going to watch S6 until I finish this! (There's an incentive for me to get my backside moving!) If any of this story comes to pass it will be co-incidental. That said, I could write this and find that it is nothing like what they do! Just wanted to get that out there. Of course if I could have found the time to get this written, then it wouldn't have mattered. **sigh**

Anyway, this chapter grew into a monster so I have halved it, the second half will be up soon! (God and my muse willing). It is mainly Sam getting to see what his brother has been doing since Stull and meet the people in Dean's life now. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Sam woke to the smell of coffee as a cup was waved under his nose. He shifted slightly and opened his eyes to the sight of his fully clothed brother sitting on the edge of his bed. "Some guard dog you are, sleepy head. Here, one girly coffee, just for you."

Pulling himself up to a sitting position Sam gratefully took the cup and sipped at the contents. He savoured the hit of caffeine as his body protested that it wasn't ready to face the day yet even though the sun streaming through the curtains hold him it was way past time he should be up. He looked to Dean to clarify that for him. "Time is it?"

"Ten thirty."

"_Damn_." Sam said with feeling.

"Soft, clean bed suck you in there little bro'?" Dean chuckled slightly and reached for the cup as his brother handed it back to him.

Swinging his legs free of the covers Sam stood up and surveyed the room." How long have you been up? How are you feeling?"

"Our _Ben_ alarm clock woke us up at seven. We were warned to let you sleep, on pain of death by Lisa." Dean turned so that they were facing one another over the bed. "As for your second question, I feel like warmed over roadkill but since that's a thousand times better than I felt at seven, I'm gonna go with my stock answer of fine."

"Where's my clothes?" Sam did a second search of the room as his brother climbed onto the bed and rested against the headboard, legs crossed.

"Guess?," Dean offered as help.

Sam turned and scowled at him, then it hit him and he smiled. "Lisa washed them?"

"Good guess. They're dry, she left them in the bathroom with some clean towels for you. Think she threw a pair of my shorts and socks in there too. Her subtle way of saying that you stink." Dean flicked a little grin at his brother.

"I notice that you're cleaned and changed too," Sam obversed wryly retrieving the coffee and downing the rest of it. He watched the way his brother gingerly got himself upright. "You sure you're okay?" Concern floated in his tone.

"Just a little stiff, probably shouldn't have gone into work at all," Dean replied as he held out his hand for the empty cup and started for the door. Sam followed in his wake.

"You went to work?," the younger brother asked incredulously. "And Lisa let you?"

Dean stopped and Sam almost ran into him, sidestepping into the hall at the very last minute to avoid the collision. "I do still get to make some of my own decisions," Dean shot at him a little icily. "Just because I take Lisa's feelings into account doesn't mean that I can't wipe my backside without her permission you know."

Sam held his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, didn't mean it the way it came out, just that she was worried about you, didn't think she'd be happy with you heading off to work with an arm you could barely lift last night."

"She wasn't," Dean conceded. He raised his hands above his head cursing as the last dregs of Sam's coffee managed to escape and drip onto his head. "See? Both arms are working. Left side's a little sore but I've had worse and had to hunt, think I can manage to work on a few cars." He brushed the drips of coffee from his hair and turned to the stairs. "Hurry up, get cleaned and we can get this over with."

Standing for a few seconds Sam watched as his brother descended the stairs, pondering the words. Sighing he headed to get washed and dressed.

* * *

They left the girl Meg had possessed, and the ID she had on her, at the back of a picnic stop. None of them were happy about it, none thought it ideal, but with an anonymous call to the cops she shouldn't be there too long. Dean waited until they'd put some distance between her and them and then made that very call.

An hour later he eased Bobby's van into a clearing that Sam recognised instantly even though he'd only been here once before and that had been over four years ago. Why Dean had brought Rufus here of all places, the place where they has said goodbye to John was something that he wanted to ask but knew he couldn't. Dean's face as they exited the van indicated that. Feeling like he needed a little space after the silent tension of the journey Sam headed straight over to the woods behind the clearing and started to gather the largest branches he could find to start the pyre. Soon Dean and Bobby were working beside him, still all in silence as they completed the task. Finally, when it was done to Dean's exacting standard, they lifted the body up and on. Sam noted the pained look on his brother's face as he overreached with his left arm and Rufus' corpse wobbled for a second. Stepping to the side a little Sam quietly took the strain for him. Dean shot him a small grateful look and then turned away to get the fuel.

Bobby nudged Sam and they fetched the salt, Sam using his height to reach the top of the pile and Rufus while Bobby worked at circling where the body lay. When they'd finished Dean moved in and soaked the wood with gasoline and then took the torch that Bobby had brought with him. Soaking the head in the gas he flicked the lighter and lit it up then he slowly circled Rufus' funeral pyre, igniting the pile and then throwing the torch on top, igniting the man himself.

Sam watched the fires eat greedily at the man they had called a friend as Dean step back from the heat and came to a stop beside him.

"Anyone want to say something?," Bobby enquired after a bit.

"Like what?," Dean asked as he turned to him. "Another one bites the dust? Need to be careful Bobby, you're the only real friend that we got left to loose. Least Rufus got a proper send off, not like Jo and Ellen." With that he turned on his heel and headed to the van, climbing into the driver's seat and starting her up.

"Guess that's our cue to go," Sam said as he started to turn too, one last quick glance at the pyre, one last prayer that Rufus would find peace in his thoughts.

"Guess so." Bobby gathered the few items that remained on the ground and loaded them into the van. "You sit with him, I'll ride in the back." With that they got in and headed back to Cicero, the journey home as quiet as the one there, each one lost to their own thoughts.

* * *

Bobby went back that night but Sam stayed. Refusing Dean and Lisa's offer of a room he checked into a bed and breakfast a few miles down the road, wanting to avoid the motel he'd stay at when Ruby had started her sales pitch to him and pointed them all down this path. He needed some distance from Dean's new life but he found he didn't want to leave Cicero now. Didn't want to leave Dean. He didn't want drag his brother back into their life, knew how that felt, to be forced back into hunting when you had washed your hands clean of the kill. Still, he also knew what it felt like, to be out there hunting on your own, no one to have your back, finally getting an understanding of what Dean had meant that night so long ago. Sam could hunt just fine on his own, he just wasn't sure that he wanted to any longer.

Since there had been no invite for Sam to join his brother at the garage he did research during the day while Dean worked. The first task that he gave himself was to check for omens that could signal any other dangers lurking in the shadows nearby and then he looked to see if there where any hunts in the area that could keep him near his brother for a spell. Sam worried that he might just have got open season declared on Dean and his new little adopted family. He wanted to be near enough and on guard enough to stop any attack at the pass before they got near Lisa, Ben or his brother.

At night he spent the early evening with Dean and the Braedens, just having dinner and getting to know them a little better. He tried not to think of Jess when he watched the way Lisa interacted with his brother, the casual touches and the light that they brought to his brother's eyes. A light he hadn't seen there in a long time, maybe even never. Dean might still have his crosses to bear, hell Sam knew that he was probably one of them, but he seemed more at peace with himself, had a contentment about him that Sam hadn't seen since they were kids. He hoped that his presence here wasn't going to steal that from him.

* * *

Since his brother didn't ask if he wanted to go with him to the bar to work either, he spent the some of the nights really getting to know Lisa and Ben better, stopping to wonder if that was maybe his brother's plan all along. Lisa, Sam had to concede, was great. Sam could see why she and his brother had hit it off so easily. She had a quick wit and an easy charm that reminded him of Dean and she was a good listener, not pushing him to talk but letting him when he found he wanted to.

On the first night, a quick walk to the shops showed him something else. Lisa was liked here in the town that she had been born and brought up in, so Dean was accepted by default. People stopped them a few times, asking after Dean, enquiring eyes looking at Sam all kind and welcoming when Lisa explained who he was. It was only as they past the local church that Sam heard Lisa groan. "Mum's friends," she offered as an explanation. "Wait for it," she whispered as the two people exited from the church and approached them, a quick conversation between them and a look at Sam before they stopped.

"Who's this handsome young man you're with now Lisa? Haven't traded Dean in already have you?," the elder of the two women asked, the hint of disapproval in her voice.

"No Brenda I haven't. This is Sam, Dean's brother."

Sam held out his hand and Brenda took it. "Sam, eh? Don't look much like your brother."

Sam choked at the accusation behind that and threw Lisa a pleading look for help. She coughed into her hand to hide the laugh. "Dean looks like his mother, Sam more like his dad, but I can assure you Brenda, this _is_ Dean's brother."

"I'll need to tell him I've met Sam next time I see him." She gave Lisa a pointed look. "Not that you and he ever comes to church, such a shame. We could do with more younger blood in the congregation. Maybe you can persuade them to come on Sunday Sam? You've more than welcome to come too."

Lisa grabbed Sam's arm and started to pull him away. "Sam doesn't go to church either Brenda and you already know that Dean doesn't. We're in a hurry, see you later." Sam almost had to trot to keep up with Lisa, despite his long legs as she hurried away. "God, that woman is a pain. So I was wild when I was younger, doesn't mean that I am now, not with Ben in the house. Yet she still thinks I'm sleeping with every man she sees me with. I need to warn Dean, she'll hunt him down until she confirms that you are his brother."

Seeing that they were still be watched Sam slipped his arm round Lisa's back and pulled her in. "Let's add some fuel to the fire."

Lisa giggled against him and then slipped her arm round his back too. "Yeah, lets!"

He found out as they walked on that her family had lived in Cicero for generations and even when she had decided to rebel against her quiet church upbringing she hadn't been able to leave. Move out of the house, sure. Sleep with people that her mother wouldn't have even let in the door, and lots of them? Yeah. But leaving Cicero behind? That hadn't been an option. Leaving the people she loved here. Leaving her friends, her family.

_Bailing on your family._ Dean's voice from that night that they'd shared up in heaven sounded in his ears and he tried to shut it out. He hadn't bailed on them he argued with the voice. He'd wanted space. Freedom. A life. And he took it the way John had trained him. By deceit, cunning and fighting for it. He caught Lisa watching him as he tore himself from his thoughts and he smiled, tried to ease away the worried look on her face. Her hand gently rested on his arm for a minute and she spoke. "I couldn't be what my family wanted me to be either," she said before she walked up to the front door and opened it, leaving him wondering how she could read him so easily.

Ben excused himself to his room when they got back and Sam and Lisa sat back and shared a few bottles of beer. She made him laugh at a few of the things that she had dragged his brother to, enjoying the thought of Dean being the cook at a neighbourhood barbeque or helping out at the local community hall's monthly old folk's dinner and dance. He seriously thought that he'd done himself a mischief laughing too hard when she described how two of the old ladies had cornered Dean and insisted that he partner them in a dance each. That Sam would have paid to have seen. As they got more wasted the stories became wilder and he knew that she was making most of it up to make him laugh, so he traded a few embellished ones of his own that he knew Dean would kill him for later. Still, he liked his brother's girl, she was nice and best of all, he could see that however much fun she made of him, she would defend Dean with her last breath, just the way Dean would have for anyone that he cared about. It made him like her more.

* * *

For a few of the next nights Ben commandeered Sam for help with homework and strangely he found that he enjoyed it, feeling really useful for the first time since they had gotten rid of Meg as he helped the boy solve maths problems and with his history project. Ben for his part chattered constantly about Dean as they worked on the maths together, letting Sam know that Dean usually was the one that spared the time to go over his assignments with him, the boy clearly in awe of the elder Winchester. That made Sam smile, remembering a time when he had seen his brother in the same way that Ben was talking of him now and leaving him wondering again why and when that had changed. Then Ben had let slip that Dean had been teaching him to shoot without Lisa's knowledge and within her earshot. _So much for Lisa's house, Lisa's rules _Sam thought as she let her son know exactly what she thought of that and then went off to decide on a suitably cruel and unusual punishment for his brother leaving Sam with a smile on his face and in no doubt that his sibling had definitely more than met his match in this woman.

* * *

He finally got the nod to go to work with Dean in the middle of the week and spent one morning at the garage watching his brother work. Sam helped out with a few of the heavy manual tasks but was waved away by his brother for the more complex ones, Dean pointing in the direction of a small room with a desk and a coffee machine in it. The old man, Graham, that owned the place finally cornered him as his brother worked on an old pick-up.

"So, I don't recall Dean mentioning that he had a brother. You guys fall out or something?," he prodded gently.

"Or something," Sam offered in reply. "I was away. Dean didn't like or agree with where I'd gone but he understood the reason I had to go, kept his promise not to follow me." _Hide the truth in a lie and it always comes out easier. _John's advice drifted through his thoughts as the old man smiled at him.

"Wow, well that's specific," Graham chortled. "Can see that your brothers. Never can get Dean to give me a straight answer unless it's about a car." The guy stood and went to the coffee machine. "Want one?"

Sam shook his head.

Graham filled his cup and eased himself into the chair behind the desk. "Brother is one of the best mechanics I've had in here, natural gift, although I nearly didn't give him the chance to prove it."

Sam raise his eyebrows in question.

"Dean had a real problem when Lisa brought him to me. Can't quite believe that the guy out there is the one that sat slump in that very chair your on four months ago. He looked like…damn what's the word I'm looking for….one of them living dead guys, you know what I mean?"

"A zombie?," Sam offered helpfully.

"That's it. A zombie. Never seen someone look so pale and still be breathing. That and it was obvious that he'd been drinking. A lot. If there's one thing I know…alcohol and cars don't mix, even when you ain't driving them. If it hadn't been that Lisa's daddy and I go way back he'd have been shown the door, right there and then." He paused and leaned back on the chair, turning to look out at Dean as he did. "It'd have been my loss too at that because once he straightened himself out, that brother of yours is a worker. Nice guy too, when he isn't trying to pretend that he's a hard ass." Graham looked back at Sam. "Thought things were settling down for him, especially when he finally took that car of his out of mothballs."

"Mothballs?" Sam looked out to where the Impala sat on the forecourt gleaming in the dying sunlight.

"Sure, he only got her back on the road the last week or so before you turned up. She was part of the reason that I gave him a chance in the first place. Can't keep a beauty like that on the road without knowing your way round a car and she's in good knick for an old lady with so many miles on her. Was surprised when he asked could he store her. Car seemed to mean a lot to him but he barely looked at it for the time it was out back. Was glad that he finally had a change of heart. Car like that needs to be loved. Cherished. You know?"

Sam nodded. "She's family. My brother's had her a long time, dad gave her to him."

"So she an heirloom eh?"

"Yeah. She means a lot to him. To both of us."

They both stared out at the car then, sitting in silence until Graham broke it. "Like I said, car's a tribute to your brother's skill. So, things seemed to be picking up for him but he seems unsettled again since you showed up plus I can't help noticing that he's still favouring his left side and that arm. What's up with that? That your doing?"

"Dean and I don't ever really fight like that," Sam explained. "Not often anyway." He'd heard the accusation thrown his way in the man's tone but it made him smile. Dean had someone else that was looking out for him. "But yeah, we've got a few issues to smooth out."

"U-huh? That'll happen with brothers, god knows I know that. Got four of 'em myself." The old man finally smiled at him. "You boys see that you do. Family's important."

Sam acknowledged the man's words with a nod and then Dean rescued him from any further grilling as he finished up and dropped the lid down on the truck. Grabbing a rag off the bench next to him he wiped his hands at he walked towards them and then came to a stop at the door, leaning on the frame. "Pick-up's a bust. Needs more work than she's worth. Think we can talk Martha into driving something that isn't an accident that's waiting to happen?"

Graham lent back on his chair. "I can't but I know you could. One smile from you and the old girl's putty in your hands."

Dean laughed at that. "You either got it Graham or you ain't."

"Yeah, but I think you got more than your fair share of _it _and I missed out on the whole damn lot. I'll call her, tell her the bad news." Graham reached for the phone. "So what you boys got planned for the rest of the day?"

"Thought I'd put my brother to work at the bar tonight," Dean answered as he shrugged his overalls off and reached for his jacket.

"That'll be a joy for him." Graham shot Sam an evil grin. "You got insurance right?"

"It isn't that bad, stop scaring him off," Dean admonished the old man with a snort.

"Not since you arrived anyway, they're all scared of your brother. Best damn right hook I've ever seen. George was wearing that bruise for a more than a week," the old man chuckled.

"George is an ass." Dean turned to Sam. "Guy thought that I was getting in his way of his shot at Lisa. Not that he ever had a shot."

Graham laughed at that. "Lisa's too much girl for George to handle, still he thought that roughing Dean up one night at work would scare him off."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Yeah because throwing a punch or a challenge at my brother is the way to get him to back off. Guy's an idiot then?"

Dean nodded. "And then some. Let's head. See you tomorrow Graham, and don't forget to phone Martha."

"I won't. You boys take care and I see you tomorrow. Nice meeting you Sam, don't be a stranger now."

Sam nodded and the brothers waved their goodbye. On the way out Dean said his goodbyes to a few of the other guys that were there before he led his brother out to where the Impala was parked. "What?," he asked as he caught the look in Sam's eye as he looked at the car.

"Graham said you weren't driving her." The younger brother ran his hand over the smooth paint of the roof as he walked to the passenger door.

"No, I wasn't." Something flashed quickly through Dean eyes, gone before Sam could really tell what it was but he thought he knew. Pain. The car was part of what happened at Stull, that was why his brother would have stored her, but then she was the only thing that he had left so that was probably why he'd finally put her back on the road. Sam had had the same debate when Dean had died, the need to have something to show that you weren't alone winning over the pain of the memories just looking at it caused.

Dean opening the car door and changed the subject dragged him back from his musings. "So you up for a night at the social hub of this part of Cicero?" The grin sounded Sam's warning bell.

"What will I be doing?"

"Depends on whose called in sick," Dean answered with a little shrug. "Get in and let's get something to eat then we'll head out."


	16. Chapter 16

Onwards...

* * *

"Toilets or kitchen floors?"

They were standing in what Dean had referred to as his office, a small room filled with bookcases and a desk that was cover in paperwork. "Nice," Sam observed drolly as he scanned the place, his eyes resting on the books on the higher shelves of the bookcase. He was reaching for a thick volume and pulling it off the shelf when he realised that Dean had asked him something. "What?"

"Toilets or kitchen floors. No one's cleaned up after the afternoon lunches cause the cleaner's called in sick."

Sam looked at him. "Aren't you the boss? Don't you delegate that down the food chain?" He waved the book at his brother. "Thought you were done with hunting?"

"I am the boss so I'm the only one that doesn't have a hands on job that needs done, hence the choice. Pick or I will." He snatched the volume from Sam's hand. "It's just a book."

"Kitchen. Urban myths and legends of Indiana, don't remember dad ever having that one. Good read was it?"

Sam pulled another from the shelf, eyebrows raising as he did. "Demon rituals?" He snagged another one. "A bible?"

"Enough. So I kept a few books. What's the big deal?" Dean reached to snatch the books back from his brother but Sam held them out above his head earning himself a punch to the ribs. "Put them back.. **Now**."

"Kept a few books on the top shelf of the bookcases in your _office _where Lisa couldn't possibly know that they were there," Sam continued on as he scanned the titles, pulling a few down, eyes wide as he took in just what was up on the shelf.

"She didn't want them in the house and I don't want the other guys here thinking I'm nuts….well more nuts than they do already." Dean crossed his arms and scowled as he watched his brother finally replace the books.

Sam wasn't ready to let up. "Why not put them in storage?," he asked as he closed his hand around another one. "Devil worship? Really?"

Dean sighed and started to leave. "Really. Know thine enemy Sam. Are you finished? So I kept some books. Big deal. Put it back and come on, I've got a bar to run."

Stopping him with a hand, Sam turned Dean to face him. "What were you up to?"

"Nothing, they're just books Sam." Dean shrugged himself free, eyes never meeting those of his brother, and headed out into the bar. Pausing only for a last look and to put the devil worship book back Sam decided to let it go, for now, and followed his brother out into the empty bar and through to the kitchen.

The guys that were putting away a delivery stopped. "New guy?," one of them asked.

"Brother." Two sets of eyebrows raised in question. "He's gonna help out in here tonight. Kate's off so he's gonna start with the floors. Treat him with the respect that you give to me." Dean flicked his own eyebrows at the two men and they laughed in unison.

"Wow, that badly huh?" A hand was held out that Sam took. "Brian."

"Sam."

The other guy waved from where he was standing. "Gregg. Hi. Welcome to the madhouse. Mop's over there, buckets under the sink, you're standing on the floor."

Dean snorted and then walked over to a cupboard at the back of the room grabbing a mop and bucket of his own. "Well get to it," he motioned at the other equipment. "I ain't paying you to look at the floor."

"You aren't paying me at all," Sam shot back as he started forward.

"The joys of being family. Quit whining and I'll give you free beer." With that Dean grabbed a spray gun and a cloth to go with the bucket and mop and disappeared.

Sam got to work, laughing at the banter between the other two men and fielding questions that he wasn't sure how he should be answering. Before long his brother was back.

"I really need to give Kate a pay rise because dealing with those toilets is just….well it's nasty."

"But you do look good in those pink rubber gloves," Brian shot at him.

"Bite me! I'm gonna help Mags and Cathy set up the bar, you guys good in here?"

"Sam's great. You sure he's your brother?" It was Gregg this time that tried to pull Dean's chain.

"You guys looking to be unemployed?" Dean crossed his arms and then swiftly uncrossed then, pulling off the gloves that he'd forgotten he was still wearing. "Just get on with it. We open in half an hour."

Gregg and Brian saluted him and then turned back to work as Dean washed his hands and then disappeared into the main bar.

"So, how did Dean end up as the boss?," Sam asked as he finished the floor and moved over to help with the vegetables that Gregg was preparing.

"Nobody else wanted it!" Gregg passed him a knife and moved over to let Sam get in to work beside him. "He didn't tell you?"

"Wouldn't be asking if he had," the young Winchester answered, snatching a potato up and getting to work.

"Up until your brother started working here we had fights almost every night. Dean started on a Saturday. Jeff Adams came in high and looking for trouble, started a fight with his brother and his girl. Seems Becky couldn't decided which brother to settle for and then chose the wrong one far as Jeff was concerned. Jeff got Becky by the neck, pulled a gun, and everyone ducked for cover except Dean. He strolled round that bar cool as you please and walked over to the guy. Jeff turned the gun on him and threatened to pull the trigger but Dean just smiled that smile of his and kept walking. Damned barrel was resting against his chest when he stopped. He lent into Jeff and whispered something in his ear, don't know what, and then he took the gun off him and prised Becky free. He handed her off to Mags and then he turned and hit Jeff with a killer of a punch. Broke the guy's jaw, two of his own fingers too. Jeff hasn't been back. Three nights later and most of the guys that caused trouble in here weren't getting by Dean at the door, and hell did they try, so they just moved on. David that owns the place ask Dean if he could do the books and manage as well as he hit. Gave him the nod to run the place on a six months trial, can't see him cancelling it after that though. Brother's good at what he does here. Mucks in when he has too, and not a word of protest. Yup, Dean's the real deal, nice guy, fair, but hard as hell too. Never could make up my mind though if Dean was brave that night, stupid or if he just didn't care if Adams pulled that trigger. Know what I mean?," Gregg finished giving Sam a look.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Sam answered, shaking his head as he did. "That's my brother. Brave, stupid and reckless." He shot Gregg a little smile.

"Well we best be getting on with this or we're gonna see the side that's mean and nasty. Food's not gonna prep itself." With that they worked on until Dean stuck his head back round the door.

"New boy pulling his weight is he?"

Gregg nodded. "Yeah, but he's like you, can't peel potatoes for shit."

Dean laughed and then sobered. He looked at his brother, nodding in the direction of the bar. "You want that beer now?"

"Hell yeah," Sam answered, tossing aside the peeler and wiping his hands on a cloth.

"Come on then." Dean turned and pushed the door opened, heading behind the bar and grabbing two beers from the fridge. He gestured to the booth in the corner and waited until Sam had slid in before he did.

"You drinking tonight?" Sam tipped his bottle at the one sitting in front of his brother.

"Just one. Been a long day." Dean sipped at the beer, eyes closing as he savoured the taste and then he relaxed back against the seat. He turned his head to look out over the bar, automatically scanning for any signs of trouble.

"You expecting someone?," Sam asked, following his brother's gaze.

Dean hesitated just a little before he spoke. "Nah, just making sure that everything is cool." He peeled himself off the back of the seat and lent forward, resting his hands round the base of the bottle and his elbows on the edge of the table. "So," he started as he looked up at Sam and the younger man could almost feel his brother's mood darken, "how long you thinking of staying this time?"

The question was blunt and caught Sam off guard after the last few hours of easy company. "What do you mean?"

"Well before Meg showed up you were all gung ho about getting back to killing demons and now you seem to be content to just hang here. Why? You worried that if something else bad heads my way that I wont be able to handle it?"

Sam shook his head, denying what he had been worrying about. "No. I just…."

"'cos if that's why you're still here, I don't need a babysitter Sam. If you're staying for that, then I don't want you to." Dean didn't look up just picked at the label on the bottle.

Sam bristled as the accusation hit a little too close to his original reason for not heading out with Bobby. "I know you don't. I just wanted to hang for a bit."

"Just as long as hanging don't mean we settle into a routine Sam and then I have you take off on me again when something better comes along." There was a little bitter edge to Dean's words that hid the smaller edge of hurt in them.

Sam stared at his brother's head wondering when the switch had been made because this wasn't the relaxed brother that he had just spent the day with. "So what, you want me here just so that I can hang out with you when it suits you? Maybe baby sit Ben and Lisa when your working?"

Hurt flashed in Dean's eyes. "No, of course not and that wasn't what that was…I just thought that…..I….." Dean looked up, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, searched for the words he wanted. "I want you to be here because I'm your brother Sam and because you want to spend time with me. Not too much to ask is it?"

Sam shook his head not trusting his mouth to say the right words.

Casting his gaze back out round the bar Dean leant back in, the elder Winchester speaking so softly that Sam had to strain to hear him over the bar noise. "So what have you really been doing with yourself these last few months Sammy eh? Can't all have just been hunting? You hook up with someone?" He paused. "Or something? And just why isn't your mojo thing working right? Something you should be telling me?"

Sam snorted, only just refraining from calling his brother a son of a bitch for the something dig. He took a slow breath, counted until he could speak calmly. Dean was starting to ratchet up his annoyance, on purpose it seemed. "Like I told you, I was hunting a group of demons out Bobby's way. Yes, it has all been mostly hunting Dean and no, there haven't been any hook ups, human or otherwise." He lent across the table into his brother's space. "I don't know why my mojo isn't working right, it just isn't. My turn." Sam pulled the bottle from his pocket and placed it on the table. "What's this and what have you been doing with the books in your office Dean? And don't bullshit me."

They locked eyes for a moment and then Dean sighed, tossed back the rest of his beer and swapped the bottle for the little one on the table. "It's an experiment. Mostly it's angel blood, Cas left it for me. I mixed it with a little holy water and a little something that I concocted myself."

Sam brushed his hair away from his forehead and lent back. "And what's it for?"

Dean held the bottle up, let the light play on the contents, the essence switching from blue to silver as he did. "I was hoping that if it worked the way Cas and I thought it would, it'd burn the bastards up from the inside but leave the hosts mostly untouched. Hoped that it'd hurt bad enough that they would just give up and go, save anyone else that's possessed dying just so that we can kill the demon inside. Meg proves it works, still maybe needs a little tweak. Of course, if I'd _known _you were back I probably wouldn't have bothered. Then again – with the mojo not working…I'd be as well using the knife."

Sam clasped his hands together at the back of the beer bottle. "No, that what it is Dean, what it does. I asked you what it's for. When were you planning on using this _concoction_, you know, since you're not hunting anymore? Or maybe you have already, Meg not withstanding." Sam tilted his head, stared his brother down.

"Told you before Sammy, researching is not hunting. This is research." Sam watched as his brother pocketed the bottle and signalled to one of the waitresses for more beer.

"So have you used it?"

Dean paused, chewed his lip. "Once before Meg but the mix wasn't right. It killed the damned host too. I've been working on it since then." Sam watched as Dean switched to a smile as one of the girls behind the bar came over with two more bottles.

"You drinking tonight boss?," she asked, a little edge of concern lacing her voice as she looked between the two men, the tension evident between them.

Dean nodded the smile never wavering. easing her discomfort a little. "You can cut me off after this one Mags, okay?," he offered amicably.

"Okay." She put down the bottles and touched Dean's shoulder. "I don't want to be the one Lisa hunts down in the morning for letting you get drunk."

The remark was made light heartedly but Sam saw the closed look that briefly surfaced at the comment before the easy smile slipped back in place on his brother's face. "Coward," Dean teased gently, but his eyes went blank and unreadable.

"You better believe it." Mags missed the look as someone called to her and she turned. "Better get back to work," she smiled at Sam. "Boss is a real hard ass about us standing chatting." She winked at Dean and walked away.

Sam smirked at his brother. He was still pissed at Dean's earlier hook up dig and this as far as he could see was perfect payback. Before he could say anything though Dean silenced him with a hand. "I swear to God if you say what you're thinking, there's going to be trouble. I don't get wasted anymore because I don't want to and besides Lisa is entitled to that one, she put up with a helluva lot before I got it together. So just don't man."

Contemplating pushing Dean's buttons for just a second or two more Sam decided to let it slide. Instead he picked up the previous bone and chewed on it. "So, the bottle and the books? What were you doing Dean?"

Dean sighed. "I told you."

"I know but your lips are telling me one thing and your eyes are telling me something completely different." Sam huffed softly as Dean refused to meet his eyes. "You tried it didn't you? To get the cage open? Get me out after I asked you not to?"

"_Sam_, drop it." It was almost a growl.

"You did, didn't you?"

Dean looked up, eyes lit for a second with a cool fire and then it cleared. "Fine, I tried. Okay? Happy now? Good job I didn't manage it though, seeing as you weren't in it!," he hissed across the table, pushing himself up as he did. "I need to go check on things, just," he waved a hand at Sam, "…..stay here just now. I'll be back."

Watching until his brother disappeared into the kitchen Sam leant his head down on the table with a groan and then pushed off to follow Dean. He caught up with him as he reappeared and stepped behind the bar. Dean started serving to let the girls have a break and Sam, left with nothing else to do, joined him. They worked silently for a spell, the patrons and the other bar staff watching with mutual interest until Dean finally broke the deadlock even if it was with a mundane request for some glasses. Sam watched his brother after that his eyes finally seeing him, realising the mistake that he'd made. He let himself get lost then in the distraction of serving until the girls came back again and Dean touched his arm. "Come on, I got something to show you."

They stepped into the office and Sam walked over and perched on the edge of the desk, waiting until Dean turned from shutting and, he noted, locking the door before he spoke. "I asked the wrong question."

Dean lent on the door, the question in his eyes.

"When I came to see you, I asked the wrong question."

"You've lost me." Dean walked over and motioned him off the desk.

Sam sighed. "I asked you if you loved Lisa."

Dean lifted the rug from the front of the desk revealing long groove marks in the floor. "And what should you have asked?"

Sam walked round to help his brother as Dean started to push the desk back from its position in the middle of the floor towards the door.

"I should have asked you if you were happy."

Dean snorted. "Happy? I though you were in Hell Sam, happy wasn't even a speck in the distance." He pulled at a handle and Sam watched as the trapdoor in the floor lifted, the smell of damp starting to invade the room as it came to rest against the desk.

Sam frowned. "But you love Lisa though right? I know you said you weren't sure but I see the way that you look at her. The way you touch her. She makes you smile."

Dean let out a small huff of air, a little bitter half smile gracing his face. "Being with the people you love doesn't always mean that you're happy Sam. Hell you should know that more than anyone." Dean pulled open a drawer in the desk and pulled out two flashlights throwing one to his brother and switching the other one on.

Without letting Sam reply he gestured down. "Come on."


	17. Chapter 17

Hi. This fought me the whole way and the muse was being huffy but finally got it to where I was happy to leave it. Dean reveals something that causes Sam a lot of worry and guilt. Enjoy.

* * *

Sam followed his brother down into a small square room. The far wall had been knocked through and he watched as Dean stepped over the low remains and into what looked like a long brick corridor or tunnel. He rubbed his hands down the walls and frowned as his fingers came away black, soot from a fire as well as dirt covering them. "Has there been a fire down here?"

"Long time ago. There used to be a closed up bank and some shops next to the pub. They burnt down about ten or twelve years ago. The pub bought the land and expanded. We're under the carpark." Dean's hand came up and rested on Sam's chest. "Wait here until I get the door open."

Sam peered through the gloom and managed to made out the shape of a metal door, the light in Dean's hand reflecting off the circular wheel in its centre. "Is that a vault?"

"Yeah, stand back." Dean pulled a key from his pocket and slipped it into a lock in the door. Sam stepped in to get a better look at the circle, noting that there was a devil's trap in the centre of the wheel.

"What the….what is this?" He reached out to touch Dean's shoulder as his brother gripped and spun the focus of his attention. "Is this a panic room?" He shone his light over the rest of the door frowning as it picked up markings carved into the metal work; sigils and runes covering its surface.

"No." The bolts retracted back with a solid thunk and Dean started to swing the door open, turning to face Sam as he did. "It's a lock box." With that he stepped round the door and disappeared inside.

Sam's mouth fell open. "It's a what….?," he asked as he quickly followed Dean inside.

"A lock box."

"Pretty big for a lock box. What's it designed to keep in?" Sam thought he already knew the answer to that.

"Take a guess." Dean was lighting two enormous black pillar candles that sat on the floor. "I told you I went back to Stull and I was gonna do it, I swear it but then I realised that if I did that, what you did would have been for nothing. If you couldn't control Lucifer and if Michael was still down there too…..." Dean paused, lit a few more candles that were on a table in the centre of the vault. "Then I found this, realised that it would be perfect. I could make it perfect. Then, even if they got out the cage they'd just be stepping into another one. They wouldn't get passed the devil's trap and the angel proofing on the door and the walls. That and it's airtight, no air vents to escape out."

Sam walked to the table in the centre of the room next to where Dean stood. "This is a black altar." He turned to his brother. "What the hell were you thinking? You were actually going to open the cage with yourself locked in here? Are you crazy?"

Dean met his eyes only for a moment. "No, I was desperate."

Sam didn't know what to say to that so he took a candle from the table and started to circle the room, using that and his flashlight to highlight the walls. His hands drifted over the symbols there, some of which he recognised and others he didn't. He rubbed his hand on the artwork and brought his fingers to his lips. Blood. The sigils and glyphs where drawn in blood. Frowning and shaking his head he walked back to the table, eyes caught by the silver sword that lay on it. Putting the candle back he opened the book that was sitting below the sword and started to read. "So," he asked as he did, "if you succeeded in getting me out you were just going to kill Lucifer? Where would that leave me?"

"I was going to try and get him to let you go first, if that didn't work…." Dean bit his lip. "…I'd rather you were dead than down there, with him."

Sam sighed. "You're an idiot, and you promised me that you wouldn't try this, you told me that you couldn't break that promise when I came back. You lied to me."

"Not like you haven't lied to me before, get over it." Dean words had a bitter edge to them. "Besides, I didn't actually make any promise to you, you asked me to but I didn't reply."

Sam bristled, anger in his next words. "What would have happened if you had managed to get it open Dean? Do you have any idea how much Lucifer detests you?"

"I got a fair idea at Stull," Dean answered.

Sam glowered at him and then brought his eyes back to the book. As he read, a passage in it made his skin crawl. He looked up at the markings on the wall and turned to fully face his brother. "Says that you need to use 'blood borne of vengeance' to make this work properly as a lock box." Dean walked past him and shut the book. "What does that mean?"

"What it says on the tin."

"Dean?"

"Sam?"

"What does it mean?" Sam turned his brother to face him and pinned him against the table. "I want to know."

"Remember Roy and Walt?," Dean inquired, his face a careful mask.

"Yeah. Hard to forget someone that shoots you in chest. What about them?" Sam wasn't sure that he wanted to know now.

There was a dead look in Dean's eyes as he spoke that Sam felt pull him in and make him sure that he wasn't going to like what Dean was going to tell him. "Well they had a little hunting accident, not far from here actually," his brother stated a little too casually for Sam's liking. "Got their throats slit and drained of their blood in their sleep." Dean pushed his brother off him and walked back to the door, closing it over as he did.

Sam took a deep breath. "Dean?"

Dean just spun the lock and stood there, his back to Sam, hands still gripping the steel wheel hard.

"What did you do? I mean, did you….you couldn't have….." Sam shook his head. "What the hell Dean!" His brother wouldn't look at him. "Dean!"

"They owed me, and I collected. Like I said, I was desperate." Dean came back over and picked up a smaller book from the table, opened it and searched for a particular page.

"You killed them!"

Dean turn, his face cold and hard. "They killed me first. They kill you. I was just returning the favour."

"Returning the favour? They don't have angels that can resurrect them Dean. They're dead! And you….. you slit their damn throats!" Sam lifted his hands to his head. "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking you were being tortured in Hell! I was thinking that I didn't have a choice. That is was them or you," his brother spat back at him, turning away as he did. "I did it for you. See what keeping secrets does Sam?" Dean pulled the rings from his pocket and placed them down in the book. "I needed to get you out. I couldn't bear the thought of what they'd be doing to you down there Sam. I couldn't." His voice cracked on the last words and his free hand came up to worry over his forehead.

Sam slowly exhaled troubled not only by Dean's confession but also his whole manner. "Does Lisa know about this?"

Dean snorted. "What do you think?"

"How did you manage this?"

"I worked on after closing. Told Lisa that I was doing the books after hours when I'd finished them when we were opened."

Sam couldn't stop himself getting a dig. "Seems I'm not the only one that was keeping secrets then, eh Dean?"

"Touché."

"So when did you finish it?"

"Two days before you got here, the night Rufus arrived. Lisa was supposed to be going to see her sister for a few days later that week, she's got a new niece."

"And you weren't going with her?"

"I had work to do here that I couldn't put off." There was a ghost of a smile on Dean's face as he turned back towards Sam. A smile that chilled Sam's blood despite the heat building in the room.

The silence hung heavy between them until Sam broke it. "So, what do you intend doing with this now? With the rings?"

Dean paused, head down, worrying at his lip a little. "Adam might still be down there."

"Oh no." Sam's eyes widened and he raised a finger in warning. "You aren't still thinking of opening the cage? It's suicide Dean, and Cas isn't around to help you this time."

"Adam took a bullet, one that was meant for me," Dean poked his chest to emphasis his point.

"Dean," Sam touched his brother's shoulders, made him raise his head and look at him. "I never saw Adam the whole time I was down there. I don't think he or Michael are even in there."

"But you're not sure," Dean pushed on.

Sam sighed, tightened his grip on his brother. "No, I'm not sure. I'm sure though that I don't want to go poking a bear with a stick! I'm sure that I don't want to risk going back there. I'm sure that I would rather it be him than you! Adam said it himself Dean, he may be blood but he's not family."

"Nice Sam." Dean wiped his hand down across his face. "It's still my fault that he's down there. I left him in that room."

"You didn't leave him Dean, you got me out. They locked him down before you could get back in."

"Same thing. He's still down there in place of me."

Sam switched tack, worried that he hadn't seen how close to the edge Dean was before, worried by how well his brother had been hiding it. "What about Lisa? Ben? Aren't you happy with them? Like I said Dean, opening that cage is suicide. Do you really want Ben to loose the closest thing to a dad that he's had? What if he finds out and does what dad did when he lost mom? I mean he's asked you questions right? About hunting? You even taught him how to shoot."

Worry creased Dean's face and Sam knew that he had scored a point. "He wouldn't do that, besides I've been in the kid's life less than a year. Not enough time for him to miss me if I disappear."

"Do you hear the way he talks about you Dean? It's the way I used to when we were younger and you could do no wrong in my eyes. He hero worships you!"

"You got over it, so can he." Dean words were harsh but his resolve was wavering, Sam could hear it in his voice. His brother's next words caught him on the wrong foot though. "I backed your play, you saying that if I want to look for Adam I'm on my own?"

Dean twisting words as usual. Sam knew that he needed help on this one. "Can we talk to Bobby first? Maybe if we can find out how I got out, who got me out we can use that to check if Adam is still there before we risk this. Please?"

The reply was too long in coming for Sam's liking, the younger brother only relaxing as he felt Dean do so. "Fine, but, if there isn't another way in, I'm doing this."

"Fine," Sam agreed. "…just promise me that you'll not do it without me."

It took a moment but Dean finally nodded and Sam smiled wryly at him. "Uh-huh. Say it this time. Promise me."

Dean snorted, that cold smile playing on his lips and in his eyes again. "I promise. There. Happy now?"

"More than I was. Can we get out of here now. This place is giving me the creeps and it's stuffy." Sam put a little whine on the words and Dean reacted like him knew he would, the reply almost instinctual.

With a mutter that sounded like 'such a girl' Dean took the rings and the small book that they were sitting on and turned towards the door.

"Aren't they safer in here?," Sam asked hoping that Dean would agree and leave them inside the vault.

"Nope. This keeps things in, not really designed to keep them out." He tossed the book on a little table in the corner that Sam hadn't seen. "The rings stay with me."

They made their way back up to the bar, Dean re-arranging his office back before he unlocked the door and stepped back into the noise and the bustle of the busy lounge. Two people acknowledged him and Sam watched his brother switch back to the easy going, relaxed mode that he'd been in earlier. He flirted with a couple of girls on the way to the bar and then stood chatting to some guys that were drinking in the corner next to jukebox. The tense, on edge brother from moments before was gone but Sam could see now that this was mostly an act. He motioned to his brother and stepped outside, calling Bobby's name up before the door had even closed behind him.

"Sam?" He smiled as Bobby's gruff tones filtered down the line. "You and your brother working things out?"

"Kinda. Listen Bobby. There's something that I need your help with."

"It concern Dean?"

"Yeah. He's shown me something that's got me worried about him. Really worried." An idea sprung to mind, a way to put some distance between his brother and the room that he'd just shown Sam. "How about we head your way at the weekend? We can talk some things over?"

"Fine by me son. Tell your brother to bring that gal of his and her boy too. I could do with some proper company for a spell, other than you two."

Sam let out a relived sigh. "I'll ask. Bobby….thanks….again."

"No sweat. Help's what I'm here for Sam. Just keep him outta trouble until you get here okay?"

"I'll try." He ended the call and turned, biting back the cry as he realised that Dean was standing right behind him. Waiting until his heart dropped back out of his throat he gestured to Dean with the phone in his hand. "Bobby says to come down at the weekend, bring Lisa and Ben too."

Dean raised an eyebrow at that. "Really?"

"Really. Says he wants some decent company for a change. Think she'll want to?" Sam thought he realised what Bobby was up to, with Lisa there Sam and Bobby would have a better chance to talk on their own.

"I'll ask her, see if we can get some more time off work. Bar's not a problem but the garage might be." Dean looked at his brother's face. "Don't look at me like that, it isn't my call. Graham's got a lot of work on just now. I'll ask okay?"

Sam nodded. "What now?"

"You want to help out behind the bar again? The girls are due another break." Dean pulled open the door and stood there waiting.

"Sure."

They ended up serving there for the rest of the night as the bar got busy and Dean sent the girls out to keep the tables clean and the glasses coming. Sam was glad of the distraction to keep his mind off what his brother had shown him and worse, worrying about what Dean had done to Walt and Roy. For him.


End file.
